In remembrance of 9/11

I find myself thinking more and more about 9/11 and the impact it had on our lives and our society as we move closer and closer to the ten year anniversary of the event. I believe that it has changed us in ways that would have never anticipated. For example, I would have never dreamed that as we watched the towers burn and fall there would be a momentous shift in the insurance and financial markets that would eventually close the niche our little business operated in here in the backwoods of Montana and we would have to sell out to a larger competitor.

I never would have dreamed that we would still be engaged in what amounts to war operations in the Middle East even after 10 years. If only the world would have taken a step back and reflected on the words of John Paul II who challenged us to find a way to make peace instead of perpetuating more violence.

We pray for those whose lives were shattered on that terrible morning. Help us to take the steps back toward finding a way to mend a torn world without more violence and destruction. Send forth your spirit to renew the face of the earth that we may know peace for our children to enjoy.

  

The Birth of Mary

From this day all generations will call me blessed:
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.

We read this excerpt from the Magnificat every evening in evening prayer as part of the routine of Liturgy of the Hours. On days when I have my wits about me, I try to envision Mary when she is being visited. I see a young girl with dark skin, dark eyes and dark hair simply dressed in robe style dress of era, a hood pulled over her hair loosely. I imagine her having a plain appearance about her but I also see a countenance filled with a radiance that both attracts but confuses those who encounter her. I try to contemplate if I would be able to match her great faith, to proclaim that the Almighty had done great things for me by choosing me to bear the most precious of gifts only to see him die in the most terrible of ways. I try to always remember to finish prayer with a Hail Mary which always seems to bring the day to a more comforting conclusion, particularly if it is not likely I will be able to recite night prayer. To finish in this way always seems to make the precious mother a real and immediate presence in my life, a true loving intermediary for me with her son, our lord.

I tried to find an image of Mary that matched up with what I seen when I try capture the image of Mary in my mind. I looked at hundreds of images of Mary but did not find anything similar to what I hoped to find. Many were beautiful, haunting, mysterious and, curiously, all clearly recognizable as being Mary. None of them picture a girl as young as Mary, by the custom of her time and era, would have had to have been when betrothed. None of them represented the image of a clearly semitic girl as Mary had to be since she was native to the land. With respect to all of the great artists who have painted Mary through out the years, she could not have been light skinned or light haired or had European features. I come to realize my visualization is just that: my visualization. How I see her makes her seem some how more personal to me and that we all, if given the chance, would create an image of her that would allow us to see her in a way that brings us comfort.

Psalm 57

From Morning Prayer, Psalm 57:

Have mercy on me, God, have mercy on me. In you I seek refuge. In the shadow of your wings I seek refuge till harm pass by.

 A couple of years ago while floating the Smith River we were surprised by a sudden thunderstorm that boiled over the white cliffs and blasted us off the river and into the shelter of the trees along the shore. We had to balance the danger of being under trees while lightening struck all around us, sometimes so near we could smell ozone, with being out on the open where hail could pelt us. I had on a good rain jacket and I had the others with me gather around me and kneel down so I could lean over them, spread my arms and protect them from at least some of the hail that was quickly blanketing the ground around us. We laughed as we talked about my “hooding” them like a hen with chickens when a hawk passes over.

The image that comes to me from the Psalm today is different than the one portrayed in the story. I had been having one of those mornings prior to being able to start Morning Prayer.  My job requires me to engage unhappy and dissatisfied people and there had been a couple of such calls had been referred to me. I also have struggling with making some difficult decisions at work and the weight of those decisions had been wearing me down. When I finally was able to carve out some time for prayer, I was distracted and unable to concentrate on the text of the reading. I finally resorted to reading out loud which an often time brings the ability to focus. Hearing the words of the Psalm prayed out loud triggered an immediate sense of comfort and I found myself reflexively repeated the first stanza over and over again. After a while I was able to finish the rest of Psalm and then eventually Morning Prayer.

That is what God does for us when we finally remember where our refuge lays. In his mercy he provides us with safe refuge until we can face life again buoyed by his grace.

Father Simion

We were blessed with the present of visiting priest at noon mass recently. Father Simion was visiting from Africa and while he had a heavy accent, his manner was charming and engaging. He and Monsignor could not have been more different – a traditional Irish priest with a black shirt compared to a short, very dark skinned man with tribal scarring on his face wearing a purple clerical shirt yet they moved together at the altar as if they had con-celebrated together every day. One of the most powerful aspects of our faith is that men from different continents could be as one in the celebration of the Eucharist. It is gives me a better understanding of what it means to be Catholic.

The second year continues

From St. Cyril writing about the Gospel according to John: (T)he Spirit changes those in whom he comes to dwell; he so transforms them that they begin to live a completely new kind of life.

It would be trite to say I have been amazed that the changes that have marked the passage of the past year and I have no wish to diminish the intensity of what has been seen, experienced by trying to describe what has happened with tired phrasing and clichéd stock responses. All we can do is to rise up in prayer and give thanks to the Holy Spirit for continuing to refresh the old with a new way of living. I am anxious to begin my second trip through Office of Readings and the cycle of the Liturgy of the Hours. I am promised that the revelations will continue to spring out of the sacred texts.

Saint Ambrose, Bishop - an excerpt from his writings

If you shut the door of your mind, you shut out Christ. Though he can enter, he does not want to force his way in rudely, or compel us to admit him against our will.

Closing my eyes and letting my mind build a visual image of this observation, the image I see is of a mud house with simple window openings unprotected by glass with plank shutters and an unframed door opening closed off by an unlatched wooden plank door.  I can see sort of a Hobbit kind of thing except without the charm and warmth of the real hobbit town we experienced in the Lord of the Rings. By securing the doors and window of our simple little hut, we not only shut out the sunlight, we are blocking out the eternal light of Christ. Try as we might, our attempts to hide ourselves away. We are imperfect carpenters and shafts of light stream through cracks in the wood and around the clumsily constructed edges. That we cannot block the light makes us uncomfortable in our seclusion because it reminds us what waits if we only open the door. To reach for the door to open it requires us to overcome the shame we feel for having tried secret ourselves from his presence. Once the door is open and we are again with him it takes but a moment for his healing grace to restore us.

 When we are healed we find ourselves living in a spiritual summer where good things grow and flourish. Inevitably we have to enter a spiritual winter when we try to answer doubts whispered into our hearts by voices that are not from God. We cannot avoid this time because we are human. The gift that growing faith brings us is that we recognize earlier that winter has settled in on us and we can take the first steps ourselves to journey back into the light of spring. The journey begins by simply opening the door to let the light of grace flood in on us and then we can again step out into the brightness.

Psalm 90

To your eyes a thousand years are like yesterday, come and gone, no more than a watch in the night.

God’s time is not our time. The eternity I spent waiting for a meeting to end today was really just a blink of time. I think back of the experiences from years past when time seemed to have come to a stop. Think of the nights we spent walking the floor with a sick baby or even the days the spanned the time from when a close family member died until the funeral came. We struggled to acknowledge when we were stuck in those fear filled, anxious or sorrowful days that we would survive to the next day. Sometimes it was more than we could bear just to wait out an hour or a few minutes. Then, as we slid unthinking into the future memory of frozen  time fades until it becomes like a scar we only think we can still see for the gift of healing is that we understand that time does move on at a constant rate and that time is our friend.

The other gift I have taken from the treasure store of scripture is that even though we who share this experience are few in number and our collective lives are but a blip in God’s history, his love for each of us is surpasses our ability to comprehend it. As minimal as we might be, He has a plan for us that was conceived before our ancestors came into being. So then, who I am to question that plan? A human who still needs to work at getting in step with the plan before he runs out of his time here.  

A grownup looks at the 23rd Psalm - verse 1

The Lord is my shepherd. There is nothing I lack.

There has been major shift in my perspective of this line since childhood. When I first memorized the verse, I took the meaning to be that all of my wants would be met. I would always get the extra dollop of whipped cream and a cherry on top of my hot chocolate when we went to the Park Café after church on Sundays. The coveted peddle car I found at the department store would assuredly be found under the tree on Christmas morning and let’s not forget the State Farm insurance and Western Montana College bumper stickers that should cover the fenders. I expected that my emotional and physical desires would be met. Times and desires have changed. Now when we pray the second line we are confident that our spiritual needs will be met. 

23rd Psalm - The beginning

The 23^rd Psalm:  The Lord is my shepherd.

That means that logically I have to admit that I am one of his sheep. My great uncle was sheep rancher and I was fortunate to spend a fair amount of time his ranch as young boy. I was exposed to sheep enough to determine they are not the brightest of God’s creatures. In fact I was amazed at how dumb they behaved. To say that I am like a sheep and be ok with it takes some effort. When I consider how many of our Jewish and Christian brothers and sisters have clung to the prayer in hours of sorrow or learned to recite it as a teaching prayer as children, I realize I am in a rather large crowd of sheep. I am in the best of company. The Lord is my shepherd and I am filled with joy at the thought of it.

Like a deer yearns for running water

I have mentioned before that my backyard borders Beltview Park which runs down into town from the base of Mount Ascension. Since pleasant weather is finally upon us the last few days, I have been able to pray the Hours outside and enjoy the rural atmosphere of my backyard. As I settled down to read I noticed a mule deer doe just beyond the open rail fence marks the boundary of my yard and the greenbelt.  She was standing awkwardly, straddling 2 tiny spotted fawns while they nursed urgently.

Seeing deer in my backyard is not unusual and they have stirred my imagination before in writing my share. I ended up just watching momma deer and the fawns until I had to leave for an early morning meeting. The fawns had to have been only a few hours old and were still wobbly an uncertain on their feet. I was glad my Labrador has long since made peace with our long legged visitors so all she did was to watch them with some mild interest before resuming her early morning nap.

The second reading this morning was from a sermon on psalm forty-one addressed to the newly baptized by Saint Jerome, priest who wrote, referencing the first line of the Psalm:

As the deer longs for running water, so my soul longs for you, my God. Just as the deer longs for running water, so do our newly baptized members, our young deer, so to speak, also yearn for God.

I spent some time before I had to leave home reflecting on this line for some kind of inspiration. I felt certain that had to be some reason why I should be granted the privilege of watching the doe with her fawns the same morning the reading spoke of deer. No inspiration came to me and I resigned myself to the realization that this would be one of those days were my effort at lectio would just come up empty

I am filling in as a temporary substitute Sacristan for the Thursday noon Mass at the Cathedral since Val is gone for the summer. As communion was proceeding at mass, my eyes were drawn to a young lady, Amy, coming up the center aisle to receive communion. I was, in that moment, blessed with understanding of what eluded me about the reading. I was looking for some kind of meaning for my experience, for my yearning, for my desire for God but today the message was not about me. The message was about Amy. She was received into the community this past Easter so she is literally newly baptized. The yearning I saw in her face, the joy that flooded her countenance as she received communion and the peace that followed the look of joy as she turned to back to her seat was what St. Jerome was describing in his sermon.

 
The lesson for me is that I should not focus solely on myself in the process of lectio. Sometimes the lesson I need to learn is about how God moves the heart of others around me and wonderful that experience can be if I open myself up to recognize it.

St. Origen

One of his homily turned the battle of Jericho into a metaphor for the New Testament. His text equates Jericho with the world, the spies of the Joshua as being the apostles and the harlot Rahab became a metaphor for us, the body of believers. In the Old Testament story, the Israelites knew to spare the household of Rahab because she hung a scarlet cord from her window. In Origen’s mind the cord became a metaphor for the blood of Christ which saves us all. I knew very little of Origen before today but it appears there is large body of this work that remains in existence despite dating back to the early third century and his ability to spin metaphors between the history of the Old Testament and the experience of the new testament is certainly something that will draw further inquiry from me in the future. For now, however, I am left to wonder how I should display the scarlet cord that will spare me from destruction when the end comes. There is no physical sign that can represent my belief that spiritual salvation awaits me. All that I can do is hope that when God looks beyond my physical image and deep into my soul he will find that I have prepared my inner self, my essence to radiate the glory of belief in life eternal. The words of the old song we often sang when we were young ring through my ears loudly today: “And they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. They will know we are Christians by our love.” The expression of that love for one another will be our scarlet cord for the Lord to find when the time comes for us.

Taking care in the kitchen

Rule of St. Benedict

Chapter 31 – the cellarer should look on the vessels and goods of the cellar as if they were consecrated vessels of the altar.

There is challenge there for me. As a sacristan, I am privileged to prepare the vessels for consecration at the altar and then to clean and prepare them for the next Eucharist after the mass has ended. We treat them with respect, care and reverence (except when the wine goblets are in the dishwasher) at all times. We wash, dry and polish them with deliberation and with the recognition they are intended to contain the most presence essence in the universe.

 The dishes that are waiting for us in the sink are not quite as well cared for as the Eucharistic vessels and there is a lesson there for me to learn. Those dirty dishes are meant to contain nourishment for a temple created by God to contain a Soul that is loved by God and through his grace will be saved by the Holy Spirit. If I can keep that in mind then perhaps I will come just a little closer to the challenge from Benedict to give reverence to God in and for all that we do all the time.

The Ascension

 As they watched, he was lifted up, and a cloud took him from their sight, alleluia.







The long run from Ash Wednesday to Pentecost Sunday is nearly over. Today is the Ascension of the Lord and I dwelled much of the week on what it must have been like for the disciples as the day of the Ascension approached. Think about the emotional ride they would have been on for last 6 weeks. First came the glorious entrance into Jerusalem. Next came the moving but likely very confusing unfolding of the Last Supper. Immediately after that came the arrest, the trial and finally the Crucifixion. We know that despite all the efforts Jesus made to warn us about what would happen, we, they, could not believe that the when Jesus died, everything was ended. Jesus was just another in a long line of charismatic prophets and rebels who fell under the tried and true Roman understanding that if you kill the leader, you kill the movement. Then something unbelievable happened. The tomb was found empty. Jesus was seen alive first by a few and then by many. A disheartened, emotionally crushed and hopeless band of followers dared to believe again. To hope again. To finally begin to understand the message and they message they were born to carry. The Mass readings this week come to mind, particularly yesterday when the John wrote how Jesus told them how much more he had to tell them but the disciple’s mind just could not absorb any more and they would have to wait for the coming of the Holy Spirit to reveal the rest of the truth to them that they needed to learn.

Finally we come today. I have tried to imagine what it must have been like for them to stand and watch as Jesus was lifted up and left their sight. We will read in coming days they were ready for him to leave them because he really was not just gone, just out of sight for the moment. He was still with them but, more importantly, we learn from Augustine, that they were with him as well.

Even knowing what was to come, I wonder what they were thinking. Excitement? Anticipation? Sorrow? I supposed the best answer is that they experienced a wide variety of conflicting emotions at the same time.

A painful legacy

Rule of St. Benedict

CHAPTER XXX
How Young Boys Are to Be Corrected

Every age and understanding should have its proper discipline. Whenever, therefore, boys or immature youths or such as can not understand how grave a penalty excommunication is, are guilty of a serious fault, let them undergo severe fasting or be disciplined with corporal punishment, that they may be corrected.

I know that the concept of physical punishment is viewed very differently now then it was in the time of Benedict. In fact sensitivities have changed dramatically within the span of my lifetime. Even the idea of “fasting” or, in our modern terms, “being sent to bed without supper” seems unnecessarily harsh. The reality is, however, that our children do need to be disciplined for behavior that left uncorrected could result in much more serious problems as adults. The legacy of abuse that is being laid on many of our religious orders, particularly the Jesuits in Oregon is haunting and humbling. I often listen with deep sadness as people I know recount the stories of what their childhood in orphanages or boarding school involved. I don’t pretend to know the whole truth of any of this and I have to admit that when my children were young I tended to parent the way I was parented rather than way I should have parented. The thoughts that keep running through my head are that justice must be tempered with mercy and that punishment must focus on correction and not retribution.

A cornerstone the builder rejected

“A stone which the builders rejected that became a cornerstone.”

The line is first found in Psalm 118 and again in Matthew 21 and finally in the first letter of the apostle Peter. The phrase, of course, is very familiar to us because we encounter it frequently in our daily reading but I have never really taken the time to really examine the origin and intent of the scripture. The commentaries I reviewed suggested the line referred to an event that took place during the building of the great temple. A large oddly shaped rock was delivered to the construction site but the laborers could find no use for it so they set it aside. Later, when the temple was nearly finished they needed a large stone to fill a gap in the lintel so they could finish the building. It turns out the seemingly useless rock sent to the site long before had a critical purpose after all because the rock fit in the space perfectly. The stone that had been rejected became the cornerstone of the temple.

Since we are not far removed from Easter we remain keenly aware that Jesus became the new temple of the new covenant. In Matthew 21:42 Jesus said: Jesus said to them, "Did you never read in the scriptures: 'The stone that the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; by the Lord has this been done, and it is wonderful in our eyes'?”

He clearly is referring to himself as being the stone that will be rejected when he is crucified but upon his resurrection, he will become the cornerstone.

Is this not a common theme in our faith? Men reject but through divine intercession what has been rejected will become not only accepted but critically needed.

Encourage one another

Paul’s wrote in the letter to the Hebrews: “Encourage one another daily while it is still “today,” so that no one grows hardened by the deceit of sin.” I had been reflecting on St. Francis De Sale’s observations that friends who lead us away from Christ are not really friends at all. Some of the “friends” I used to have are no longer part of my life in any meaningful manner because when I turned toward Christ and entered recovery it seems we really did not have much to share anymore. I rejoice in the friends that have encouraged me in a new path and I am really blessed for the new relationships that have blossomed over past 3 ½ years. Being a true friend means that we should encourage other daily while it is still “today”. I have many true friends and I pray that I am that kind of friend in return if called upon.

St. Isidore:
 “When when we pray we talk to God, when we read the Word of God, God talks to us.” 
I recall trying to use a radio to communicate with a young nephew sometime ago. He got frustrated trying to talk to me because he could not get the hang of pushing the orange call button to talk to me or releasing the button to hear me answer. He finally just dropped the radio on the ground and started to walk away. It was only then that he could hear me talking to him. We eventually got it figured out and spent the better part of day playing hide and seek with the radios. His behavior reminds me of myself. I can't hear the response of God if I don't let go of the button so I can get out of send mode and get into recieve mode. You can't do lectio Divina if you have the send button pushed. You have to be still and listen to word as you read it.

Helping the Soul of a Neigbor

St. Vincent Ferrer wrote a work called “On the Spiritual Life.”The conclusion of the excerpt reads: “Finally if you truly want to help the soul of your neighbor, you should approach God first with all your heart. Ask him simply to fill you with charity….”

This fits very well with an axiom I have come to hold close to my heart as part of my daily spiritual journey. In order to be filled with God’s charity, you have to first empty yourself of your own notions of what your neighbor needs in order to make the room for that which comes from God. Some days I have lots of trouble with that concept. I like to think I know best but not stopping to consider how God wants us to relate to others is like disabling the crossing guard at busy railroad crossing. You might make it safely across the tracks once or twice or maybe even a hundred times but eventually you are going to cause a heck of wreck

St. Augustine and the Ostrich

from the confessions of St. Augustine:

Could anything remain hidden in me, even though I did not want to confess it to you? In that case I would only be hiding you from myself, not myself from you.

I wonder if I think I am an ostrich. When I find myself estranged from God and alone, it is because I have buried my head in the sand. Certainly the worst part of me is still visible but because I can’t see it, I don’t think it exists. St. Augustine may have never heard about ostriches but he certainly understands the concept. When we try to hide from God, all we are really doing is hiding from ourselves. God still sees all. How easy it is it is to fall into the mistake of thinking that we don’t pray about what troubles us, he won’t know we are troubled.

Surrender to God

Antiphon from Liturgy of the Hours, Morning Prayer:

“Surrender to God, and he will do everything for you.”

It is, of course, a reminder to give the loads we cannot carry over to the Lord and He will sustain us. I tend to keep banging my head against a locked door instead of waiting for God to open the door he means for me to pass through.



A Truth About Anger

In the 12 step fellowship Alcoholics Anonymous there is a stated belief that reads like this, “It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something is wrong with us.” Oh how I used to hate that statement. I firmly believed that there is such a thing as self righteous anger and that there are times and places where we should be entitled to enjoy being angry about some wrong done to us. The reality, however, is that if we do fall victim to anger, regardless of the cause, our anger becomes the problem and not the harm done us.

St. Dorotheus writing at least 1600 years ago says much the same thing.

“Suppose my brother injures me, and on examining myself I find that I have not given him any cause. Why should I blame myself?”

He then goes on to answer the question by pointing out that when it comes to human relationships in conflict no one is truly innocent. His solution is that we should search for how we may have contributed to the conflict, even if our contribution was without intent or prior awareness. If we find the source of part in it, we can work to avoid a similar event in the future.

The call to find our part in the conflict is a difficult one to answer. It requires we look inward to a level of truth that can cause us to flinch and look away from the mirror of self awareness hastily. We must look and challenge the truth of what we find revealed to us or we will forever be a part of the problem rather than being a part of the solution.

Prayer rising like incense - Psalm 141

Let my prayer rise like incense in your sight; let the raising of my hands be an evening sacrifice.

I just love the image of our words rising up to God as we pray with our hands in the open position. Together we each represent an ember in a fire of praise, our words rising up and becoming comingled like smoke rising up from the flames. What prayer would we be praying? The prayer our lord taught us, of course.

St. Augustine, writing on Psalm 141, said,

Prayer offered in holiness from a faithful heart rises like incense from a holy altar. Nothing is more fragrant than the fragrance of the Lord. May all who believe share in this fragrance.

 Our words are not like wood fire smoke but like the smoke that rises out of a pot of sweet incense. The Holy Spirit purifies our words, removing the bitter and acrid odors leaving only the best to rise up the lord.

Eli, eli lama sabacthani........

And about three o'clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" which       means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Matthew 27:46

The image of Jesus hanging on the cross suffering beyond description and near death haunts me. My imagination fills my ears with a voice crying out in loudly in pain and distress. I hear the voice of a man convinced that he has been forgotten. In comparison, I think of how my children sounded when they awoke in the night beset by night terrors. Even a simple recollection of those heart rending sounds sorrows me to this day.

I have begun to consider, however, that I have gotten in wrong. I recently learned that it was expected that an observant Jew likely memorized the entire Psalter and much of the rest of sacred scripture and that when he might refer to a particular Psalm to make a point, he would not need to recite the entire Psalm but would only need to mention the first line and whoever he was talking with would instantly be able to recollect the entire Psalm and understand the meaning of what he was being told.


Psalm 22 is clearly a lament. It begins with a plaintive cry to God in sorrow for being abandoned and it continues to paint a picture of a soul under oppression for several stanzas but then focus from abandonment changes to one of hope. The desolation changes to optimism and a recognition of God’s mercy.

The last verses read:
And I will live for the LORD; my descendants will serve you.


The generation to come will be told of the Lord, that they may proclaim to a people yet unborn the deliverance you have brought.

What was Jesus really telling us? That he had been abandoned and left to die a horrible death? In hearing the rest of the Psalm it becomes clear that he is telling us much more. We should not focus on the present moment in which he is suffering beyond belief but we should think of the future and what his death with will mean for us. The point of Psalm 22 is not that we have abandoned by God. The true meaning is that we should rejoice for the deliverance to come.

I now image that Jesus is crying loudly, not in pain, lamenting his present situation. Instead I hear a strong voice crying out in resolve reminding us that we will be delivered. He is telling us to live for the Lord and to teach our descendents to proclaim the deliverance from abandonment he has brought us. Our enemies will not prevail.

Psalm 22

I have spent some time since Ash Wednesday reflecting on Psalm 22. The first sentence of the Psalm is what Jesus uttered on the Cross, “Eloi, eloi, lama sabacthani’ or “My God, my God why have you abandoned me.” The rest of the story relates to not how the Psalm begins but rather how it concludes:

                And I will live for the LORD; my descendants will serve you.

The generation to come will be told of the Lord, that they may proclaim to a people yet unborn the deliverance you have brought.

Jesus surely chose this Psalm for good reason. It begins with a long description of complete and utter despair but the Psalm concludes with optimism and prophecy of what was to come on the third day after the death. Jesus was not calling out to us not to call attention of what was happening to him but to encourage looking ahead to what was to come. Observant Jews of the time would have instantly understood what he was saying because they would have been as familiar with the Psalm as we are with Psalm 23. Jesus was not telling us he was abandoned. He was telling us to look ahead with great joy.

John of the Cross - about sin

John of the Cross wrote, “Just as water extinguishes a fire, so love wipes away sin.” Sometimes I think of forgiveness as a subtle act, when forgiveness is present sin, regardless of character, gently ebbs away from us. John suggests  there is nothing subtle about God’s love for us or what happens we are forgiven of sin. When we turn to God for forgiveness his response is active: God's love wipes away sin. Our sin.  St. John of the Cross, pray for us, pray that God will wipe our sins.

Lessons From Young Heros

I recently served as volunteer court official at city basketball tournament hosted by the local business community. The gym I was assigned to was where teams consisting of 4th and 5th grade boys were scheduled to play. One of the early games featured a team named the Rebels, consisting mostly of 4th grade boys that were matched up against a team called the Hawks, a team of boys mostly in the 5th grade. The difference in size and skill levels was pronounced. The tallest boy on the Rebels appeared to be shorter than the shortest boy on the Hawks. When the score four minutes into the game was 12-0, I resigned myself to being forced to watch a massacre. The game preceding this one also featured a similar mismatch and the score ended up 63-9. I was not hopeful for the Rebels.


I was wrong. The Rebels has something going for them that I did not immediately recognize. They had a coach who knew how to coach. At first I felt that he was being overly assertive and vocal almost to the point that I was being nudged by the score keeper and time keeper to consider asking him to tone his approach down. Rather than taking immediate action, I decided to observe for a time before taking action. As I listened I became more and more mesmerized by the coach and how he was interacting with his boys..

His complete focus was on what the team needed to be doing next. If they missed a shot, traveled or lost a ball out of bounds, he did not even acknowledge the event had happened. He did not shout out anything like, “Do better next time” or “Tough break.” Instead he instructed them on what do next, saying things “Follow your shot” or “Move to the post.”

The result was the boys did not have a chance to get down on themselves. There was not time to dwell on what they did wrong or what did not work for them. The amazing thing is they listened to him and tried complete whatever he asked. They hustled up and down the court and played aggressive defense. From the opening tip off until the final buzzer they played as though they had a chance of winning. They never gave up, they did not quit, there were no tears or displays of anger or despair.

I wish I could tell you that the best coaching performance I ever experienced carried the day and that guts, hard work and pluck overcame a superior force. I can’t. The Rebels lost by 20 points. I admire the Hawks because they played well enough to win and they were also well coached. He could have kept his best players in for the entire game and run the score up on the Rebels but he shuttled players in and out and gave everyone on his team a chance to play.

It is an American tradition, however, to root for the underdog and I found myself rooting for the Rebels even though I officially had to be neutral since I was a tournament official. They played so hard that I decided to let them have the full measure of the game and did not instruct the time keeper to just let the clock run down. They deserved to play to the last second. This was not a defeated team that needed the mercy of a quickly ended game. They did not lose, as the cliché goes, they ran out of time.

After the game, I walked up to the coach, gave him a hug and told him that I had never witnessed a better coaching effort and that he should be proud for what he accomplished. When it was clear he did not really appreciate what I was saying, I laid it out for him. His response was amazement because all he was trying to do was to keep them in the game. His coaching style was not deliberate or pre-planned. He just did what he thought was right.

There is a life lesson to be learned here and it is, I think, a big one. God is much more interested in what we do next in life than in the mess-ups we have in the past. If we spent more time focused on doing the next right thing, our relationship with God will become natural and comfortable and it will be just what God wants for us. He does not want to punish us or rub our nose in our mistakes. He just wants us to do right to the best of our ability. He does not even expect us to win the battle with achieving perfection only to do better next time.

There will be a time when it is important for the coach of the Rebels to review the game with his team. There are things they can learn that could bring them closer to victory in the next game. We also need to take time to review our day to learn where could do better in the future but our focus should not be on what we have done but on what we should do next.

The Rebels did not play like boys being beaten. They played with enthusiasm and great cheer. They remember that basketball is a game played for fun. They ended up beating a better team later in the day so they won third place ribbons. I learned that heroism can be packed into small packages and you can learn great lessons from those you should be teaching. I am glad the heroes went home with ribbons but they were already blessed by God for giving them such a fine coach. God blessed me by allowing me watch and gain some deeper understanding about what we are called to do, not just in games but in life.

What would I ask?

As Jesus was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a sizable crowd,
Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus,
sat by the roadside begging.
On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth,
he began to cry out and say,
“Jesus, son of David, have pity on me.”
And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent.
But he kept calling out all the more, “Son of David, have pity on me.”
Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”
So they called the blind man, saying to him,
“Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you.”
He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus.
Jesus said to him in reply, “What do you want me to do for you?”
The blind man replied to him, “Master, I want to see.”
Jesus told him, ‘Go your way; your faith has saved you.”
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way.
Mark 10:46-52

If I were called before the Lord and he ask me what I wanted him to do for me, I, like Bartimaeus, would ask him to allow me to see. My vision of worldly things is fine. It is my vision of things spirtual and of the heart that I would bring to him for healing. As Paul says, in the present day we can only see things dimly as if in mirror. When I look at my brothers and sisters I seldom think to look beyond what I see on the surface so I miss the chance to experience their true measure. I would ask him to heal me of tendancy to look away when I should be looking straight ahead. I would ask to see perfectly those things are of him, from him and for him. I would ask to be able recognize and rejoice for those things he has bestowed on me, not because I deserve them but because of his grace. I would ask that, like Bartimaeus, I would be save by my faith.

Existentialism - not for me

I recently read an article from a collection of articles called the Asian Face of Jesus. The article was written by Byung Ahn and his argument is that we need to peel away the centuries of experience and tradition of faith to get to the historical Jesus in order for to truly understand the Christ message. His theology is resolutely existential. The true measure of the validity and reality of faith can only be understood through the basis of individual experience. I don’t know how many of you have much of an understanding of existential theology or philosophy but I find the consequence of either the philosophy or theology resolutely sad. If we were to follow the argument of Byung, we would lose the beauty and power of our history. Augustine would be gone, as would Aquinas and even the gospel of John because it focuses more on the message of Jesus than a recitation of his ministry found in the synoptic Gospels. More importantly, even the sharing we do together would be moot because all that matters is what our individual experience within the confines of our unique existence would matter. It is easy for me to say that I don’t agree with his theology, not because I don’t like it but, rather, because faith and experience shared is multiplied, nourished and sustained. If I had been forced to rely on the lessons of my own existence, I would still be lost in the wilderness.

Lectio on the readings

Taking a shopping list when you go into a store is a good idea – it helps you find what you need and overlook the things that might otherwise buy on impulse. Approaching sacred text with your mind already bubbling with other thoughts is probably not such a good idea. You might find yourself finding ideas and images that really aren’t there or aren’t even an important part of the text. The topic of the PFLM class last weekend was Christology with a particular focus an effort to understand the human and divine nature of Jesus. With consideration of this topic still fresh on my mind, I read the first reading from the Acts of the Apostles which described Peter extending the good news of the gospel to gentiles. The lesson for me today is that the all that is required to share in the good news is that we be human. We don’t need to be Jewish first. In the absence of discrimination, all are invited to share our faith. We don’t need to be Semitic, Jewish, brown eyed or even mail. We just have to be human.

Thought for the day

"Come to me all you who are burdened and I will give you rest"


Here I am, Lord. I come to seek your presence. I long for your healing power.

This is one of those days where the marbles have spilled from the cup and I lack the energy and desire to chase them all down and get them back their rightful place. We all know that a misplaced marble can cause havoc with one misplaced footstep so we are obligated to do something before we come to grief. It is time to turn to the Lord for help before I slip on what has escaped my own best intentions.

Here I am, Lord. I come to seek your presence. I long for your healing power.

From St. Athanasius

From a sermon by St. Athanisius:


For as the word we speak is an image of the Word who is God’s Son, so also is the wisdom implanted in us an image of the Wisdom who is God’s Son. It gives us the ability to know and understand and so makes us capable of receiving him who is all-creative Wisdom, through whom we can come to know the Father.

I have been playing with the concept of wisdom in recent days trying to understand how wisdom differs from knowledge and experience. There is clearly a difference between using the word wisdom instead of knowledge or experience. A dictionary meaning suggests that wisdom is the ability to discern what is true, right and lasting. Another one is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience and understanding.

The consequence of the wisdom we are granted as described in the second reading is that we can come to know the Father. I observed several weeks ago in another share that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom because reverence opens up to the Holy Spirit.

A final thought is that piety or holiness is a consequence of our knowing, wanting and doing what has been communicated by the Holy Spirit. To seek wisdom is also to seek to be holy.

From Anam Cara

From Anam Cara: “Though the human body is born complete in one moment, the birth of the human heart is an ongoing process. It is being birthed in every experience of your life. Everything that happens to you has the potential to deepen you.”

This means we have to trust that if we follow God’s will, what we experience will be what he planned for us and that regardless of whether our experience is a day spent on a beautiful beach or night spent awake with concern, the experience will bring us closer to him. It will allow us to know him better that we might be more like him.

More from Galatians

From St. Paul in the letter to the Galatians 2:20: If justice is available through the law, then Christ died to no purpose! St. Paul makes an emphatic point that faith in a resurrected Christ makes discussion over the importance of living in accordance with Jewish law a moot point. Earlier in the same chapter he takes to take no less an important person than Peter. When you consider the role that Peter played in the whole pageant of Christ from the very beginning of Christ’s public ministry, Paul clearly believed that Jesus came to fulfill the law and not to uphold it. This point is important to us because Jesus made clear that God was much more interested in what was in our hearts than but what rules we followed. Prior to the time of Christ you could expect to find favor with God by following his rules regardless of what motivated you. We are now judged by whether we love and honor God but loving one another not by whether we are circumcised or follow certain dietary laws. I have to say that is hard to imagine ANYONE taking on Peter the way Paul did without any apparent ill effect.

I have been thinking about Galatians 1 11-24.The verse is considered seminal because Paul clearly defends and justifies his ministry and teaching authority. He states that the Gospel he proclaims came directly from Jesus Christ and not from any man.


Consider how different the revelation to Paul was than it was for the rest of us. We hear the word proclaimed from other humans from texts written down by other humans, all of which has been handed down to us over time. While the other apostles witnessed the ministry of Christ, it was revealed to Paul directly by the Lord. We would have expected that Paul would have learned about the faith like everyone else did – from eye witness accounts passed along person to person in story form. God, once again, confounds our expectations by reaching out directly to Paul.

What does that mean to us? It means that what Paul taught us about how be Christians was revealed directly to him by God. There is no other way he could have learned as much he needed to know to nurture the early church. The Gospels define what our faith is but Paul taught us how to live it. The early Christian Church needed Paul to guide the way.

More on humility

Chapter 7 versus 31-33: The second step of humility is that one does not love one’s will…


The constant struggle I face is to discern God’s will and how to separate it out from I am projecting out of my own selfish wants and needs that get me headed down the wrong path. The only thing that I figured out so far is that if what I am called to do works to the benefit of others before it works to my own- if it ever does - it is probably something that comes from God. The caveat is that I can’t just assume that is the case if what I really looking for is the secondary gain from the accolades and praise that can be the reward for service to others. Actually, the bigger struggle is to remember to step and sit quietly to ask for the Lord to reveal himself to me.

On Obedience

From chapter V on obedience:

This obedience, however, will be acceptable to God and agreeable to men then only, if what is commanded is done without hesitation, delay, lukewarmness, grumbling or complaint, because the obedience which is rendered to Superiors is rendered to God.

I continue to struggle with the idea of obedience. There are times when I really look forward to retirement – not just so I don’t have to work but so I no longer have to answer to any kind of superior. Fortunately modern business environments don’t function with the same kind of command and control mentality as they did when I first started in business and our management culture is more steeped in problem solving and empowerment than a strict adherence to rules. Even so the thought of following orders can give me heartburn. For me, there is even worse news. Not only are we challenged to not only do what is commanded but to also be compliant, according Norvene Vest. I feel like I am being told to eat dirt and be glad I have it to eat. This is nothing new for me. Even when I owned my own business, I was still not my own boss. Our clients were the real bosses. Why is obedience such an issue? I was not raised in an authoritative home where rules were strictly enforced but at times I sure act like I was. The real issue is that to obey means that we have to convince our egos to yield. In my case, your response to me should be, “Good luck with that.”

From St. Peter Canisius:

From St. Peter Canisius:


“I received a promise from you of a garment made of three parts: these were to cover my soul in its nakedness, …. They were peace, love and perseverance.

I think first of Adam being afraid in the garden when he realized that he naked. While God has not restored us to our pre-fall state, He has through his grace offered to cover our souls with a garment of his design. In my mind this garment is named courage. It is courage that Adam needed when confronted with his nakedness. He needed to courage to accept responsibility for his part in the fall and not just blame Eve, who, in turn, blamed the serpent. When we are clothed with the garment described by St. Peter we find courage to draw closer in to another who is hurting and needs out comfort. It brings the courage to answer anger with softness. The garment gives us courage to face the moments we feel alone or are feel we are lost. It brings us courage to offer amends when we have caused harmed to others. A small child does not know why a favorite blanket can calm fears, ward off the cold, and feel comfort. As adults we know the gifts that come with faith in a God who will cover our every need with garment made of peace, love and perseverance.

Webs and threads

We exist in a web of relationships - links to nature, people, God. We can trace out these links, giving thanks for the life that flows through them. Some links are twisted or broken: we may feel regret, anger, and disappointment. We can pray for the gift of acceptance and forgiveness. We pray that have the strength and wisdom to re-knit broken threads that connect us together in a the tapestry we call life.

Christ as mine with may treasures.

St. John of the Cross describes Christ as being a rich mine with many pockets that contain treasures, so many treasures we can never dig them all up. This is fascinating imagery that is far different from many of the other more common images used to depict the essence of our Lord. The next step in the imagery is that we can’t just reach in a pluck out a juicy plum. We have to suffer for it first. Rarely are the finest of gems just found lying on the surface waiting for us to pick them up and head off to the assay office. We have to dig for them. We have to sweat, get tired, run out of breath and get discouraged before we find the best stuff. I wonder sometimes if we have to suffer before we can truly recognize the value of the treasure we uncover when we finally begin to prefer nothing to Christ.