A New Journey - To Where?

 I have not posted since February and prior to that, it was December since I took the time to add to the blog in a meaningful way. How can I imagine myself a writer unless I sit down, stare at the blank page in front of me and hit a key? Yes, I have been keeping a written journal on a regular basis but pushing myself to be present during the day with an eye toward observing what surrounds me has been missing. So here I sit. What do I want to say? 

For many years I prepared a reflection on a Gospel passage from the lectionary on more or less a weekly basis which I shared with a group of close friends I relate to as brothers. After leaving Helena and moving here to the pond by the river, I no longer have anything to share with them, no spark of insight touched off by the Holy Spirit. In the months since I have tried to find a new motivation, a different wellspring of imagination worthy of sharing with an unknown, perhaps even non-existent audience. I could always count on my brothers to eat up whatever I served them and I am grateful for the generous attention and feedback. 

I surprise myself when I flip back through the blog posts piled up over the years. Sometimes I had something important to say and could say it in a meaningful and readable way. Other posts were just exercises in ego I would like to delete but I must take inspiration from Peter who was a man of many characteristics and traits but who never seemed more capable as an evangelist as when he was less than perfect as a disciple. He was human. He was well-intentioned, divinely intentioned and yet he was like me, prone to gaps of faith and poorly thought-out suggestions. I am also human. 

Since retirement, I seem to have been caught in a vortex that was too subtle for me to be aware of what was happening but powerful enough to keep me spinning without direction. I have begun to focus my prayer on questioning God on how I can best use my talents but use them with humility and awareness of the power of the Holy Spirit. 

I have discerned taking a 9-month retreat devoted to the Ignatian Spiritual exercises as a way of firing up my reflective spiritual practices which will allow me to return to the blog. I believe I am hearing the call to enter the retreat. 

Secondly, I offered my services as a catechist to both the Journey movement and Christ the King church. I await a response and invitation. If asked I will accept what is offered. 

Finally, I have volunteered to serve as a tour guide at St. Mary's Mission and this appeals to my love of the church and to my love of Montana history. I look forward to opportunities. 

As a Benedictine, I am always reminded to listen to the voice of the Master. I am listening. I pray to hear the call, regardless of what I am called to offer, with an open heart.

Lord, hear my prayer.