Mark 9:38-40
John said to Jesus,
“Teacher, we saw
someone driving out demons in your name, and we tried to prevent him because he
does not follow us.” Jesus replied, “Do not prevent him. There is no one who
performs a mighty deed in my name who can at the same time speak ill of me. For
whoever is not against us is for us.”
We are a month out from spring, yet this morning dawned on a river cutting through rock the same as it does every day but with a cold mist of fog rising from the waters into unsettled 8-degree air. The Bitterroot Valley is a place of relative, calm, fierce winds not attended by a storm are rare so to have unleafed trees bending from a 20 mile per hour east wind was a surprise. I was hunkered down in an open spot in the willows to find respite from the wind. Shelf ice has reformed since the deep freeze began again Sunday and so I watched the waters flow under the ice shelf after piling shush up against the ice ledge. The sound was cold. There is no other sound like ice slush on running waters. Even watching a video in the warmth of my study causes me to sense a shudder of chill shivering down my spine. Now, however, hearing the river run and feeling the bite of the wind without the radiant warmth of still hidden sun, I was deeply chilled dressed even as I was to ward off the cold. I would not spend much time rolling the gospel around in my mind and heart to see what might be revealed but I spent long enough. What was revealed, however, was not challenging, comforting, or inspiring. Instead, sadness and disquiet settled deep within me, and it kept company with the cold until the cold yielded to the warmth of my home.
Why I am discomforted by the gospel today. It seems straightforward enough. The more I considered my unrest the more I realized it points
to my future and those with whom I will struggle to follow the way. More precisely,
those with whom I practice the way. Do you know what I mean? Before Christians
were called Christians, they called themselves "followers of the
way." The way of Jesus. I have
shared with you over the past years and last year in particular. I have loved every
step I have taken with you for the past 12 years. It is comfortable for me, easy because
of our history. Like the disciples, we have become "us" but, like the
disciples, I have seen demons being driven out by others who do not
"follow us". You know, Protestants. Non-Catholics. Curiously enough
even some agnostics.
I like being Catholic. I love our liturgy and the majesty of 2000
years of revelation provided us by the magisterium. I am proud of the fact the
bible is the product of our church and that our church is not just a product of the
bible. There is so much more. I love being a Benedictine and I have been
able to increasingly been able to integrate the rule of Benedict into my rule
of life. I love being able to practice advanced theological and scriptural
reflection with others who appreciate, understand, and who have sought the
wisdom revealed through me. Not by me, THROUGH me. Now I am being called to
move out to serve those "someone(s)" who are driving out demons in
his name. They need love, support, prayer and to be offered the gift of my
charisms. They need the gifts of spiritual and physical nourishment and
blessings of the sabbath. They have invited me to follow with them. After prayer
and guidance from spiritual mentors and my spiritual director at the abbey, I
must accept their requests. I have begun teaching the gospel and offering
direction and mentoring to church leaders who are both Catholic and Protestant.
It would take me hours to explain how all the things that have come together
now all blend into one way, His way. I am not leaving the Cursillo/Journey
movement or the church because all that I do will be pointed toward
evangelization I hope will lead some to the Catholic faith but overall, I want
to contribute to building his church.
Again, the question of why I am feeling sad and unsettled needs more explanation. Simple.
I don't like change. I like being secure. I like doing things the uncomplicated way. I
would rather zoom it in Wednesday mornings but….
I will be tutoring an in-person and zoom-based group of unchurched
but still fervent believers. Pray for me as I will pray for you.
