More on humility

Chapter 7 versus 31-33: The second step of humility is that one does not love one’s will…


The constant struggle I face is to discern God’s will and how to separate it out from I am projecting out of my own selfish wants and needs that get me headed down the wrong path. The only thing that I figured out so far is that if what I am called to do works to the benefit of others before it works to my own- if it ever does - it is probably something that comes from God. The caveat is that I can’t just assume that is the case if what I really looking for is the secondary gain from the accolades and praise that can be the reward for service to others. Actually, the bigger struggle is to remember to step and sit quietly to ask for the Lord to reveal himself to me.

On Obedience

From chapter V on obedience:

This obedience, however, will be acceptable to God and agreeable to men then only, if what is commanded is done without hesitation, delay, lukewarmness, grumbling or complaint, because the obedience which is rendered to Superiors is rendered to God.

I continue to struggle with the idea of obedience. There are times when I really look forward to retirement – not just so I don’t have to work but so I no longer have to answer to any kind of superior. Fortunately modern business environments don’t function with the same kind of command and control mentality as they did when I first started in business and our management culture is more steeped in problem solving and empowerment than a strict adherence to rules. Even so the thought of following orders can give me heartburn. For me, there is even worse news. Not only are we challenged to not only do what is commanded but to also be compliant, according Norvene Vest. I feel like I am being told to eat dirt and be glad I have it to eat. This is nothing new for me. Even when I owned my own business, I was still not my own boss. Our clients were the real bosses. Why is obedience such an issue? I was not raised in an authoritative home where rules were strictly enforced but at times I sure act like I was. The real issue is that to obey means that we have to convince our egos to yield. In my case, your response to me should be, “Good luck with that.”

From St. Peter Canisius:

From St. Peter Canisius:


“I received a promise from you of a garment made of three parts: these were to cover my soul in its nakedness, …. They were peace, love and perseverance.

I think first of Adam being afraid in the garden when he realized that he naked. While God has not restored us to our pre-fall state, He has through his grace offered to cover our souls with a garment of his design. In my mind this garment is named courage. It is courage that Adam needed when confronted with his nakedness. He needed to courage to accept responsibility for his part in the fall and not just blame Eve, who, in turn, blamed the serpent. When we are clothed with the garment described by St. Peter we find courage to draw closer in to another who is hurting and needs out comfort. It brings the courage to answer anger with softness. The garment gives us courage to face the moments we feel alone or are feel we are lost. It brings us courage to offer amends when we have caused harmed to others. A small child does not know why a favorite blanket can calm fears, ward off the cold, and feel comfort. As adults we know the gifts that come with faith in a God who will cover our every need with garment made of peace, love and perseverance.

Webs and threads

We exist in a web of relationships - links to nature, people, God. We can trace out these links, giving thanks for the life that flows through them. Some links are twisted or broken: we may feel regret, anger, and disappointment. We can pray for the gift of acceptance and forgiveness. We pray that have the strength and wisdom to re-knit broken threads that connect us together in a the tapestry we call life.

Christ as mine with may treasures.

St. John of the Cross describes Christ as being a rich mine with many pockets that contain treasures, so many treasures we can never dig them all up. This is fascinating imagery that is far different from many of the other more common images used to depict the essence of our Lord. The next step in the imagery is that we can’t just reach in a pluck out a juicy plum. We have to suffer for it first. Rarely are the finest of gems just found lying on the surface waiting for us to pick them up and head off to the assay office. We have to dig for them. We have to sweat, get tired, run out of breath and get discouraged before we find the best stuff. I wonder sometimes if we have to suffer before we can truly recognize the value of the treasure we uncover when we finally begin to prefer nothing to Christ.

Reflections on a retreat

We recently participated in an oblate retreat at Mt. Angel Abbey. Here is the funny thing about that. Usually when you complete a retreat like this, the experience begins to fade when you leave. That has not happened this time. Reflection has caused me to see new and deeper dimensions that I did not really appreciate at the time. Let me try to explain a little about what I mean. I have always appreciated things that are timeless and eternal. Things like rivers that not only flow now but have flowed and will flow for a millennium. The journey from mountain top to sea never ceases and every time you return to the river, it is same as it as it was before but it is completely different. There is not one single drop of water that is the same as before. Also think about the tides that rise and fall in a daily rhythm. I had never experienced anything human that could approach the timelessness of the tide until I waded into the cycle of hours in the abbey. Daily prayer has gone on for 1500 years in monasteries throughout Christendom. The faces of the monks may change and maybe even the language may change but rhythm of prayer continues. I now have a much better understanding of this thing that we do called liturgy of the hours. To read daily prayer is to step into the river where it flows into the sea and to begin to experience the sense of eternity found there.

Isaiah 8 and 9

The morning was one of my favorite kind of Sunday mornings. There was nothing planned to force me to submit to the tyranny of the time displayed on the alarm clock. I could sleep in or get up - whichever suited my fancy. Light was just starting to brighten the world outside our bedroom when I decided to get out of bed and start the day. Looking to the east toward the horizon a thin layer of light blue sky lay over the darkened tops of the mountains. A thin gauzy layer of silvery gray clouds was painted just over the blue sky. The intermixture of sky and clouds promised a beautiful sunrise so I pulled open the blinds and settled in to read Morning Prayer.

It is an axiom of spiritual pursuit that some days the gifts of the ancient fathers can readily be separated from the words minted together some 18 centuries ago but on other days it is would be easier to read the soul of a stone. This was a day when the words simply did not speak to my heart. I closed up the book and went to get ready to go to Mass. I looked out the window toward the east one last time. The thin gray clouds had thickened and settled down on the mountain tops. A half hearted snow squall was flurrying past us driven by gusty winds that rattled the glass doors on the fireplace. There would be no real sunrise today, no ribbons of orange, pink and blue to welcome the day. Instead there was just a gradual brightening from a dark gray dawn to a light gray day. My mood matched the sky.

The first reading at Mass was from Isaiah, chapter 8 and 9. Because Isaiah, more than other Old Testament prophet, foretells the coming of the Messiah, Jesus Christ, we read from Isaiah extensively both in the scriptures for the Mass as well as in the Office of Readings. In Isaiah 11, Isaiah directly predicts the coming of Christ from out of the lineage of David. Jesus announces his divinity in Luke 4 by proclaiming it is he is who referred to in Isaiah 61 as the one who says:

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free…”


The problem is that I find Isaiah hard to read. As much as I try to listen, I can’t heard what Isaiah says that might be important for me to understand personally, something in his text that speaks directly to heart and not my head. I have long appreciated the importance of Isaiah but his words just don’t move me. Until today.


We read about the people who lived near Capernaum in the lands of Zebulun and Naphtali:


“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; Upon those who dwelt in the land of gloom a light has shone.“


I read the verse over and over again even though it meant the rest of the reading and responsorial Psalm went by me. I was drawn to the words of Isaiah as never before.


It was not until Monsignor O’Neill proclaimed the gospel that I refocused my attention what was going on around me. In the gospel reading from Matthew we heard that Jesus went to area around Zebulun and Naphtali, the exact same place referred to by Isaiah and he began to preach so that the prophecy of Isaiah could be fulfilled.


All morning my response to the sacred text I had read was flat, without life or meaning, reflection of the flat, featureless light of the sky outside. Then as I looked around me all the people around me in the cathedral, I became aware of the brightness of the light that burned in the hearts of everyone around me. This what Isaiah meant by the great light that shone upon the people. The light did not come from sky and shine upon them. It came from God and shone outward from within them.


The gloom of the morning that had pressed in upon me faded. My heart and my mind became ready to continue the Mass, my soul open to receive Holy Communion. I look forward to reading more from Isaiah.


May the grace, peace and mercy of the Lord be with you.