From Chapter 3 of the Rule of St. Benedict we read that when the monks called upon to provide comment to the abbot, Benedict warns the brethren “to give advice with all restraint of humility …”
That is great advice for all of us today. The nature of job means that I am often sought out by others to give counsel in a wide variety of capacities. Unless the matter being discussed is actually an issue requiring action or decision by me, I would be well advised to remember that advice given does not carry with it any sense of obligation that the received should honor the advice. My first inclination used to often be to think or say, “If you weren’t going to listen to what I had to say, why ask for my opinion in the first place?” That is a sure way to stifle future communication. While I am clearly a work in progress, I am learning to keep quiet a let others draw what ever conclusions they want from the way things turned out for them.
It is no secret that it is impossible for anyone to give good counsel unless they fully understand what is being asked of them. The only to learn what is being asked to carefully listen to what is being shared with them. Perhaps the greatest gift I have been given in the past 3 years is a growing ability to just listen to people who have a need to talk. It amazes me how often others kind find answers by just explaining a problem out loud to another human being. To be able to seem wise without needing to open my mouth and risk disproving the wisdom is a blessing....
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