To Sing A New Song

O sing a new song to the Lord,
sing to the Lord all the earth.
O sing to the Lord, bless his name.

Psalm 96

It has been exactly one year since I have uploaded anything to this blog. I have thought and prayed often the past year in an effort to find a reason why I was so suddenly struck silent after commenting on the 10 year anniversary of the tragedy of 9/11/2001. It was as if I had simply lost my voice. When I sat down to write the next entry, I could not type the first letter of the first word which is all I had ever needed to do in the past to get the words fluid. Instead I just sat impassively staring at the blinking cursor at the top of an otherwise blank page until I finally gave up and closed the document.

The silence could not just be the result of one thing. I had managed to overcome many barriers in the days and weeks prior to 9/11/2011 to get something down but suddenly there seemed to be so many things that got in my way.

It is not as though I was completely silent. I continued to write reflection and research papers for PFLM throughout the fall and winter. My weekly contribution to the prayer group continued on after I stopped writing the blog. In fact I began to study the scriptures we discussed each week so that I could offer more insight into the discussion rather than just showing up and offering up whatever came to mind. My attention to Liturgy of the Hours has continued without a break and I have continued to reflect and live in manner worthy of my vows as a Benedictine Oblate.

During the past year I have studied everything from Celtic Catholic Spirituality to Thomas Aquinas and my knowledge of our Catholic faith, history, doctrine and theology has leapt forward as if propelled by a rocket but my desire and ability to just sit and a reflect on something small simply faded away.

I will likely never know why silence fell upon me. It could have been rawness of emotion that I was immersed in as my family lived through a seeming endless tragic storyline that stilled my voice and stifled my ability to engage in simple introspection. Perhaps I simply needed a sabbatical, some quiet time to let the lessons piled on by the progression of days settle down so I could make some sense of them. May be in time I will be granted insight that I might be able to offer up but for now it is time to sing a new song to the Lord.

Today I sing a new song to him, a song of praise and thanks that through peaks and valleys of the past year His love for me has remained steadfast even if my faith and ability to sing out has not.

Let the heavens rejoice and earth be glad, let the sea and all within it thunder praise,
let the land and all it bears rejoice, all the trees of the wood shout for joy at the presence of the Lord for he comes, he comes to rule the earth.