Angels, Dreams and Fatherhood

Lessons to learn from St. Joseph

Joseph is often referred to as at the “greatest saint.” We should ask how he earned that honor. He was not a great missionary like St. Paul or a great evangelist like St. Peter. He was not learned or educated so he was not the source of theological wisdom like St. Augustine. He was, instead, a simple, ordinary, hard working man who loved his family and cared for the infant Jesus as if Jesus was his biological son.  His ordinariness, however, only extended so far. Rather than turn his back on Mary when he learned of her pregnancy, he stepped up to be a husband to Mary and a father to the most important human ever born, a child who would grow up to the world around him upside down. If word Joseph was not the father of Mary’s child were to be revealed not only was Mary at risk for violating of the moral code of the time, Joseph’s standing in the community, and maybe his life, was endangered as well.

The greatness of Joseph does not come from the many things he was not but, rather, from what he was that was – a very humble man. There is a great deal we can learn from Joseph about being simple, ordinary and human fathers ourselves. Today we will explore some of the ways we can seek to be more like Joseph

To set the stage we should begin by considering how we individually define fatherhood for ourselves individually. Join me in some reflections on the issue by asking some questions of ourselves.

What were your first thoughts about fatherhood, thoughts that might have first revealed to you, perhaps even as far back as when you were a child yourself?

I remember wondering if I would ever become a father. My own father died suddenly when I was 11 so closest role models I had as I entered young adulthood were my uncles and grandfathers. All were great man who loved me and guided me well but they were not my father. At the end of the day they always when back to their home at night.

We are never certain about our destiny as we to try look into the opaqueness of dimly light future. I am sure I was not the only one of us to question the future. Would I marry? Would I have children? Would I have boys or girls? How many children would my as yet unknown wife and I have together? What would our children be like?

My journey to fatherhood was not easy. While I met my wife while we still in our teens and quickly formed a life bond, having children proved to be difficult, frustrating and filled with tragedy and even hopelessness. In the end, however, we became parents and I became a father. That was just the beginning of it for me just as it was for each of us who proudly call ourselves fathers. You see once become a father, you will be a father for all of the rest of your days both here on earth and beyond the pale in heaven. What is done cannot be undone. For that I am grateful to God.

Just as Joseph dreamed, I dreamed about fatherhood; but not just while I was asleep but while I was awake. Like many, I wanted to be a father in ways I can’t even begin to explain. To imagine a future life while awake is called a day dream but it still a dream like any other. Clarity and direction can come from both dreams and day dreams but only if we listen for the soft voice of the Lord who wants to be part of our life and guide our feet on to a path of light.

Even now at time when my sons have grown into their twenties, my dreams and day dreams continue on as before. Will they marry? Will they have children? All of the same questions I had for myself I now have for them. I believe this also true for all of us. This shared connection is part of our humanity. God wired us that way.

What about our dreams and day dreams? How do they compare to the dreams of Joseph? Do our dreams inspire us to be selfless like Joseph or are we self centered about what we want for our children without considering what God’s will might be for them?

It is time to explore the lessons we can learn from Joseph. Maybe we can change our dreams.