Over the past 10 years the tenet of the 12 steps most difficult for me to grasp is when I am upset or angry fault lies with me regardless of the cause of my distress, regardless of ANY other cause. This is so difficult to bear because self righteous anger at being wronged can be so delicious.
Having the opportunity to blame someone, or something else, for causing a problem is appealing because it gives me permission to yield to high emotion and not have either the initial wrong or the my response. The problem is, however, by letting the genie of innocent outrage loose it is far too easy to for things get out of hand once anger gets burning. The flames will consume far more and roar far longer than the initial harm would warrant.
Far too often the lasting outcome is damage caused by runaway anger is far greater than anything that might have be done to begin with. The focus shifts from it should lie - the need to recognize harm and to forgive the harm so reconciliation and restoration of a relationship harmed by any insult or injury
My past is littered with instances where someone has committed an error, perhaps something seemingly consequential or, perhaps, something far more serious. Rather dealing with the event with any sense of grace or mercy, it is far to easy for me to confuse accountability with over the top haranguing that spilled over into the terrible territory of abuse. The first hurt is forgotten but the second harm is long remembered. Any moral authority I might have held is lost, drowned in sea of self protective rage.
Bill Wilson did not coin the phrase from the fertile ground of his mind, instead he paraphrased an 800 year truism and made it suddenly relevant. Eckhart was a astute observer of the dangers of a damaged ego running a muck, much more than would seem a possible from a time so different than today. Ego is dangerous thing which has both motivated and distracted centuries of success and failure.
Far too often the lasting outcome is damage caused by runaway anger is far greater than anything that might have be done to begin with. The focus shifts from it should lie - the need to recognize harm and to forgive the harm so reconciliation and restoration of a relationship harmed by any insult or injury
My past is littered with instances where someone has committed an error, perhaps something seemingly consequential or, perhaps, something far more serious. Rather dealing with the event with any sense of grace or mercy, it is far to easy for me to confuse accountability with over the top haranguing that spilled over into the terrible territory of abuse. The first hurt is forgotten but the second harm is long remembered. Any moral authority I might have held is lost, drowned in sea of self protective rage.
Bill Wilson did not coin the phrase from the fertile ground of his mind, instead he paraphrased an 800 year truism and made it suddenly relevant. Eckhart was a astute observer of the dangers of a damaged ego running a muck, much more than would seem a possible from a time so different than today. Ego is dangerous thing which has both motivated and distracted centuries of success and failure.
For spiritual growth to happen, adversity must be used as an opportunity to learn patience, acceptance and humility. If our Lord can be tortured and then hanged from a cross, surely I can bear the injustice of someone cutting me off in traffic.
Attitude is the key. Not just from an emotional standpoint but directional as well. Our attitude should be positive and focused on our relationship with God. The proper positive attitude provides us with resilience against adversity and enables to rely on God rather than on our own desires, wishes or perceived needs.
During my time as a chaplain the one thing evident from when I first peered into the room was attitude. The patient could be recovered and waiting for discharge or failing toward inevitable passing but his or attitude defined the true state of their being. I experienced both extremes. Recovered people who were totally dejected and just oozed negativity but also patients with a grim diagnosis who would soon be dying with a bright demeanor and cheerful countenance . Attitude I quickly discovered was largely a function of faith. Where faith was strong, the outlook was shiny and positive. Where faith was missing there was little to suggest hope for a future.
Attitude is the key. Not just from an emotional standpoint but directional as well. Our attitude should be positive and focused on our relationship with God. The proper positive attitude provides us with resilience against adversity and enables to rely on God rather than on our own desires, wishes or perceived needs.
During my time as a chaplain the one thing evident from when I first peered into the room was attitude. The patient could be recovered and waiting for discharge or failing toward inevitable passing but his or attitude defined the true state of their being. I experienced both extremes. Recovered people who were totally dejected and just oozed negativity but also patients with a grim diagnosis who would soon be dying with a bright demeanor and cheerful countenance . Attitude I quickly discovered was largely a function of faith. Where faith was strong, the outlook was shiny and positive. Where faith was missing there was little to suggest hope for a future.
Attitude is fueled and driven by faith. Reliance on faith was critical toward a positive outlook. It is also a choice we can make, or not. It is up to each to of us every moment of every day to make the right choice.
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