Chapter 7 part 9 June 3

The fifth degree of humility is that he hide from his Abbot none of the evil thoughts that enter his heart or the sins committed in secret, but that he humbly confess them. The Scripture urges us to this when it says, "Reveal your way to the Lord and hope in Him" (Ps. 36[37]:5) and again, "Confess to the Lord, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever" (Ps. 105[106]:1). And the Prophet likewise says, "My offense I have made known to You, and my iniquities I have not covered up. I said: 'I will declare against myself my iniquities to the Lord;' and 'You forgave the wickedness of my heart'" (Ps. 31[32]:5).

The concept of regular, routine , perhaps even daily, confession was new in this period, a gift of the Irish monks of the 5th century. I have not made a thorough confession for several months and in recent days it has been on my mind. We are nearing the time when many priests move to new assignments so things are in turmoil. The priest I would most likely use is still buried with the role of administrator in the absence of a bishop. If Monsignor were sitting here, however, as I type this, he would be the first to say that his being busy is his problem and I should call an make an appointment.

I have never really gotten used to the idea of a quick Saturday morning oil change type confession. Again, if he were here, he would that is my problem, not his and he would point his finger toward the line. "Go wait your turn and get ready while you wait," he would say with some forcefulness.

There is some mitigation because I frequently complete a personal examination of conscience but while it has great value and is vital daily spiritual exercise, there is no substitute for spilling it to another man. 

In recent months I have made a great effort to free myself of some unproductive or even unhealthy practices. Even though most are well behind me, they linger on like burrs clinging to my pant legs and socks after a long walk in weedy grass. I suspect I need help in finding them all and maybe there are some ticks that need to be pointed out for removal as well.

For the moment I will take solace in knowing that humbly, (there is that word again) confessing with heartfelt, sincere remorse followed by an effort to make amends and to mend my ways can also work wonders when you can string together a few days of successful effort.