Litany of Humility - Part 4

This begins the 4th and final time of reflection for the Litany of Humility. In part 1, we renounced desire for esteem and all other manners of adulation, including love. Next, in part 2, we prayed for others to be given more of all also including love. 

In part 3, we prayed for others to get more of everything then we ourselves are granted. We came to understand that despite our prayers to be reduced to nothing, we are challenged to give our all to others. We are called to will the good of another. We are called to love without any thought or consideration of our own self. We pray to find true humility which is to be empty of everything that is of our ego. We will not seek to disappear or fade away in the empty void even though I live as though the complete loss of my self will result in the loss of both my self and my soul. We learned this from Meister Eckhart who promised the void left by the casting out of self will be filled by God.

I want to believe this. I want to chase this dream of true humility which requires absolute trust. This business of trying to keep my ego afloat in the storms of what we call life is exhausting me and leaving me perpetually riddled with anxiety, fear and dread as the goal of ego fulfillment because increasing futile and dangerous.

Society and our culture compel us to seek approval. Ads delude us into thinking the right shampoo or deodorant will make us popular, smart and desirable. The media pours attention most on those who seek it most. Material success is valued far beyond happiness that comes from contentedness and peace. We are constantly pushed, pulled and picked at to do more, be more, achieve more, earn more and on and on. The instinctual drive to be favorably received and admired seems to be the primary driving force pushing society forward through time. Why else we all be waiting for our promised 15 minutes of fame?

We are stampeded through life like buffalo being driven off a cliff. We would seem to rather to rush to our deaths with the herd than to hold back from the others and turn away from the precipice but then to live without the company of others who went over to die. 

Societal pressure squeezed our essence until it can be melted and poured like a molten flow of wasted desire into a crucible where we are reduced to what God will have us be that we might, in desperation, seek to be of use to him. I, like many us, are in the void before the crucible. I am willing to plunge ahead and be smelted then transformed a man totally dependent on God, totally reliant and committed to life without desire for ego and to trust in him. But first, God will reduce to zero that which he will use for his plan. 

What does this look like? My mind floats through my thought up spaces but then bumps into my subconscious which sparks a riot of different images and potential directions. They are translucent, diaphanous thoughts that lack the substance to take root and grow into something tangible until true humility is revealed. The only lasting thought which remains constant is love. Love God, Love others, Love myself. Be loved and let God's love be enough.

Lord let me come to believe and to live in the believe that we will live in him, always.