Rest, Relax, Renew - Re-engage

Family Retreat Summary 
September 5-22, 2021 
Lolo - Great Falls - Sycamore Tree Retreat Center

This is a narrative summary reconstructed from my poorly kept notes. There was, I am, sure much more of substance not captured and it is very likely what moments were the most significant won't be included because they were private to the person.

Tuesday

We turned toward God, together as a family, that we might help each other in pursuit of rest, relaxation, renewal, and reconnection. What direction are we headed? Let share what was unfolded, in part, for the rest of the retreat time.

John 3:8

The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

This passage was not part of the pre-planned selection of Gospel passages intended as subjects for Lection Divina. It just forced its way into my consciousness immediately before retreat weeks began. I encountered in the last chapter of a book Penny sent for me to read but, I am ashamed to admit, it took me weeks to finish. Not that I did not want to read it. I did. I found the book thought and prayer-provoking, and I did not pick up the book unless I had time to devote reading and reflecting on what I read.

Looking back on the sequence now from the vantage point of being three weeks away for the events, I realize the timing worked out as God would have it because had I not finished the book when I did, I likely would have missed the immediate impact of the definition of the Holy Spirit, and I do mean impact. The message was for me to let go of the reins and let God direct our journey. I was too busy thinking this or that rather than simply watch and listen.

It is a troubling pattern for me to not trust in God and not open my eyes and ears. When I ask God "Where would you have me go?" or "What you have me do?", I already have some idea of how I would like to have both questions answered. I am perfectly willing to let the Spirit guide me as long as it lines up with MY ideas. The Holy Spirit, however, has its own direction and my need for validation is pointless and harmful. It is the work of my ego-driven false self-trying to run the show and doing a poor job of it. My true self is not bothered by such things and only seeks to answer the question of how to unite with the will of God.

The idea of not knowing where the spirit will blow me is terrifying because the destination may not be comfortable for me or what I think is what should be done. The idea of complete reliance is a struggle I wage from not only day to day but from minute to minute. It amazes me how quickly the urge to take control came spring up even with the short time it has taken me to write these few lines.

During the time we meditated on the text, I had to commit to letting go of the need to direct, to be willing to listen to the spirit, and to follow where it led. It did not matter what I thought we should study, what mattered is what the spirit revealed to me at the moment to guide our next steps. The gospel reading from the lectionary for today underscores the importance of not preparing for what we are to do or say but to rely on what would be provided at the moment we needed it. Let go and listen. How simple yet how difficult

Wednesday

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

This reading was offered before the week as being the theme for our time together. It was one of the few passages planned for the week that was used after my encounter with John 3:8 and my recognition I needed to let the Holy Spirit guide us. My hope was the focus on this passage would offer a refuge from the demands of everyday life. Unfortunately, a stubborn water heater did not allow for a complete break from the routine. We tried.

There is much to say about this passage. Knowing every yoke is customized for the one who is to bear it gives each of us our identity in Christ, our own destiny to follow. We each have a personal individual relationship with Jesus, and he will share the burden he asks of us by touching every heart as if it were the only heart for him to engage.

This is not just about resting from the burden but it is about letting go of the need to make every decision. All we need to do is trust him, learn from him and be meek and humble of heart. We are not God. He is of God, and he left behind the Holy Spirit to help us through life. It is how we are yoked to him.

Still, the objective was to just relax, take walks, pray, eat, have light conversations as well as heavy talks as well and just sleep. I think we pretty well hit the bases of rest, review, renew and reconnect.

Stations of the Cross

After arrival at Sycamore Tree, we walked and prayed the Stations which reimagine the last journey of Christ to Golgotha and then up on to the Cross. As we reflected on the final journey, 

we mixed in the story of creation to remind us we were created by God to inhabit a world created for us and he found that the world was good, and we were very good, worthy of living on earth. We were created in love so we could love him, but we fell into sin from the fall of Adam and Eve, and we needed redemption. We then read John 1 and floated into the mystical human and divine person of Jesus who connects us to God and each of us to each other. Mankind loved and redeemed.

Thursday

ROMANS 13:1-2

Let every person be subordinate to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God. Therefore, whoever resists authority opposes what God has appointed, and those who oppose it will bring judgment upon themselves.

And

Colossians 3:12-18

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put-on loves, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

The first passage from Romans was the first reading at Mass. The second came from evening prayer of the liturgy of the hours the night before. The first passage speaks about the need to obey civil authority but another, broader, meaning came into focus when held up to Colossians. We are given instruction on how to live our lives in a beautiful, gentle way. We could spend a lifetime dwelling on just one sentence out of the several found here. We would be well served to pray the prayer every morning and then spend the day trying to live up to the expectations expressed in every line.

What is the connection? For me, it was in line 19 in which I am to love my wife. How best to love her? Obey her. Listen to her at the level of a changing encounter. She is my higher authority. I pray for the grace to be a higher authority for her in return.

Wonder – Beauty – Longing – Belonging

In the afternoon, I introduce the mystical spirituality of John O’Donohue with the idea Celtic Christian Spirituality might enrich your sabbath times. Pursuit of these things serves as important anchors for me during my daily life. The longing to belong is an essential part of our being. It is longing that binds us together in every aspect, marriage, family, church, community, and so on. Longing is what spurred us to enter into the mystery of the revelation and changed Abraham from pagan to Jew. In so doing, we all became something different than what was before. We know we need to connect to God to give our life purpose.

Please allow me to use the poem as a blessing for us that we might long and belong together.

FOR LONGING

by John O Donohue

Blessed be the longing that brought you here

and quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease

to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –

be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness

with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you

John 1:38

Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying? “He said to them, “Come, and you will see.” So they went and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day. It was about four in the afternoon.

I posed the questions “What are you looking for” and “What would you find when you went to see where Jesus was staying?” for us to reflect on and, curiously, it was about 4 in the afternoon when I did. As I prayed and considered the answer for myself, these things from Meister Eckhart came to mind not just for me but for all of us:

- Rusty: To be full of things is to empty of God. The challenge for us is to be empty of all things so God might fill the void. If we can empty all things not of God, all that remains is of God. That is who we are. We are not the construct we fashion to show the world that is really an empty shell. To know who you are and to accept that person is the deepest and most critical value of longing and belonging. To know who we are and to belong to the person is the grounding of all things human. Know this – I love the person I see when I look at you.

- Penny: All God wants of us is a peaceful heart. Peace is elusive to the wounded heart. It may not be achievable at all. Understand that being hurt is part of the mission we have to be engaged with the world. I fear wounding enough it keeps me from pursuing what might be expected of me. The wounding you experience is because you are reaching out. Allow your hurt to connect you to Christ to the hurt he suffered as a human. Reflect on this from John 11:35 – “And Jesus wept.” We see your hurt and we will reach out to embrace you in consolation. You belong to us.

- Lori: Do what you would do if you were most secure. To be honest, I am not sure why that came to mind. Perhaps it is because you are stepping into a long, broad, tall, and deep journey into prayer and contemplation, and it is a huge commitment. That certainly is a daunting mountain to climb.

- Rick: The most important person is the one sitting across from you. For me, that person is Lori. She is the most important person to me. I longed for her to come along and now I long to belong to her. Above all other persons, places, or things.

This last quote from Eckhart should be something we do every day that we might gain the full measure of what the day holds for us:

“Be willing to begin each day as a beginner.”

Mother Teresa Prayer

"Do It Anyway" 

• People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self centered. Forgive them anyway. 
• If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 
• If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. 
• If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. 
• What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. 
• If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. 
• The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. 
• Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. 
• In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. ~Mother Teresa

This is an important prayer because it tells us that failure is a part of success, falling down is part of getting up, and everything anyway because it is how we respond to God’s call. This is the test of faith. To do things anyway even though we might fail is not something that is possible unless we have faith that everything we do conforms to God’s plan. How things turn out is up to him. As I wrestle with what it means to be a missionary these days, the prayer is on point for me as well. A seed was planted, and it has now grown to offer me shade and comfort from the heat.

Listening:

Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue:

Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is the advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice. The labor of obedience will bring you back to him from whom you had drifted through the sloth of disobedience. This message of mine is for you, then, if you are ready to give up your own will, once and for all, and armed with the strong and noble weapons of obedience to do battle for the true King, Christ the Lord.

Looking back over the days we spent together the first words of the rule of St. Benedict best capture for me the call to answer as came out of retreat and back to daily life. As an oblate, listening is the first thing I need to embrace from the moment I open my eyes in the morning until I close them at night. I hope that what dreams may come will bring words for me to listen to as well. I have begun to really study how to Listen to God so I can wrap what I learn into daily prayer, reading, encounters with others, and with the Word that I might know what God has in store for me. We all Listen. It is difficult sometimes and other times it is so easy it is simply pure comfort. Listening to St. Benedict, Saint Mother Teresa, John O’Donohue, Meister Eckhart, and scripture allow us to turn toward God. To be holy is simply to orient ourselves toward God and respond to Him in the many ways the spirit calls us toward him.

Peace be with you.

Post Script

In the days since the retreat but most particularly in the last week the question I can’t seem to escape is “What are you looking for?” It is never far from my mind whether I am tying a fly, sweetening kale, standing knee-deep in the river, or when I am quieting down my heart for prayer time. The answer, no, an answer comes when I receive the Eucharist. Another answer comes when I dig into a scripture passage. Yet another when Lori and I are quietly enjoying a movie on TV. Other times include when playing with Jane or watching the wind in the trees or hearing ducks on the pond yacking and splattering before taking off.

What am I looking for? The answers all add up to one thing, the same response given by Jesus. “Come and you will see.”

I am in good company, no, great company. Let’s look and listen together.