John 1:47-51 Nathanael

Gospel

Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him and said of him, “Here is a true Israelite. There is no duplicity in him.” Nathanael said to him, “How do you know me?” Jesus answered and said to him, “Before Philip called you, I saw you under the fig tree.” Nathanael answered him, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the King of Israel.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than this.” and he said to him, “Amen, amen, I say to you, you will see the sky opened and the angels of God ascending and descending on the Son of Man.”

In recent weeks, I have had the great blessing of being able to gear up and head down to the Bitterroot River to fish. It is an amazing gift to be able to put on my waders, grab a fully strung rod from a rack I have hanging from the ceiling and walk a shorter distance than an average golfer can drive a golf ball to the river. 

Being able to just fish when I want without much effort makes it much easier for me to slow down and settle into fishing as communion with the Holy Spirit rather than a race to see how many fish I can catch. It is where I can go to listen for the word of God spoken to me. I have always known that because it is a reason I  fish but sometimes I would, well, forget.

It used to be all too common for me to just march up to the riverbank, take a quick look up and downstream and then just wade into the current and move toward the place I determined to make my first cast. I had already given what I expected to find on the river enough thought to have tied on the flies I expected to work and planned what area of the river I should target first. It was only after fruitless time was spent casting and casting that would I take stock of what was really going on around me. My arrogant attitude caused me to demand the river to give me what I wanted rather than to humbly accept what the river was willing to give. 

Now I edge up to where I can up and down river and rather than just stomping in, I like to sit on the bank comfortably wedged where I could both sit upright and have my feet in the water so I could feel and hear the current pass over me. I spend some time watching various parts of the river to see if something might be revealed. Is there a hatch on? Are the fish rising in one place and not another? Has the river level changed since the last time I fished? What about the temperature and what about the wind? Is it blowing steadily at one speed or is it gusting? 

I pray a blessing on the river and things in it and offer a prayer of gratitude for the ability to engage creation in a way that recreates me. Only then do I rise and wade into the river to go to where the river calls me and blesses me in return. 

What has this to do with Nathanael? He was sitting under a fig tree, a tree that represents messianic peace. In other words, he was sitting in a place of blessing. Phillip called him to join him to meet the messiah and he did. When he is recognized by Jesus he is stunned. Jesus saw Nathaneal sitting in a blessed place waiting for Jesus but he, Nathanael, did not know it. How could he? But when he acknowledges Jesus, Jesus had a curious response that almost seems to say, "If you thought it was amazing I recognized you be advised there is much bigger stuff come. Just hold my staff and watch this."

When I go to the river to fish, it is not just about fishing any more than Nathanael was just sitting under a fig tree catching some shade and waiting for some fruit to drop on his lap. I go to wait to encounter the messiah. He recognizes me. He calls me by name. He promises me greater things to come. I believe it.  I live for the fulfillment of the promise. 

The funny thing is I seem to be catching more fish now. Hmm. Wonder why. 

Rest, Relax, Renew - Re-engage

Family Retreat Summary 
September 5-22, 2021 
Lolo - Great Falls - Sycamore Tree Retreat Center

This is a narrative summary reconstructed from my poorly kept notes. There was, I am, sure much more of substance not captured and it is very likely what moments were the most significant won't be included because they were private to the person.

Tuesday

We turned toward God, together as a family, that we might help each other in pursuit of rest, relaxation, renewal, and reconnection. What direction are we headed? Let share what was unfolded, in part, for the rest of the retreat time.

John 3:8

The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”

This passage was not part of the pre-planned selection of Gospel passages intended as subjects for Lection Divina. It just forced its way into my consciousness immediately before retreat weeks began. I encountered in the last chapter of a book Penny sent for me to read but, I am ashamed to admit, it took me weeks to finish. Not that I did not want to read it. I did. I found the book thought and prayer-provoking, and I did not pick up the book unless I had time to devote reading and reflecting on what I read.

Looking back on the sequence now from the vantage point of being three weeks away for the events, I realize the timing worked out as God would have it because had I not finished the book when I did, I likely would have missed the immediate impact of the definition of the Holy Spirit, and I do mean impact. The message was for me to let go of the reins and let God direct our journey. I was too busy thinking this or that rather than simply watch and listen.

It is a troubling pattern for me to not trust in God and not open my eyes and ears. When I ask God "Where would you have me go?" or "What you have me do?", I already have some idea of how I would like to have both questions answered. I am perfectly willing to let the Spirit guide me as long as it lines up with MY ideas. The Holy Spirit, however, has its own direction and my need for validation is pointless and harmful. It is the work of my ego-driven false self-trying to run the show and doing a poor job of it. My true self is not bothered by such things and only seeks to answer the question of how to unite with the will of God.

The idea of not knowing where the spirit will blow me is terrifying because the destination may not be comfortable for me or what I think is what should be done. The idea of complete reliance is a struggle I wage from not only day to day but from minute to minute. It amazes me how quickly the urge to take control came spring up even with the short time it has taken me to write these few lines.

During the time we meditated on the text, I had to commit to letting go of the need to direct, to be willing to listen to the spirit, and to follow where it led. It did not matter what I thought we should study, what mattered is what the spirit revealed to me at the moment to guide our next steps. The gospel reading from the lectionary for today underscores the importance of not preparing for what we are to do or say but to rely on what would be provided at the moment we needed it. Let go and listen. How simple yet how difficult

Wednesday

Matthew 11:28-30

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

This reading was offered before the week as being the theme for our time together. It was one of the few passages planned for the week that was used after my encounter with John 3:8 and my recognition I needed to let the Holy Spirit guide us. My hope was the focus on this passage would offer a refuge from the demands of everyday life. Unfortunately, a stubborn water heater did not allow for a complete break from the routine. We tried.

There is much to say about this passage. Knowing every yoke is customized for the one who is to bear it gives each of us our identity in Christ, our own destiny to follow. We each have a personal individual relationship with Jesus, and he will share the burden he asks of us by touching every heart as if it were the only heart for him to engage.

This is not just about resting from the burden but it is about letting go of the need to make every decision. All we need to do is trust him, learn from him and be meek and humble of heart. We are not God. He is of God, and he left behind the Holy Spirit to help us through life. It is how we are yoked to him.

Still, the objective was to just relax, take walks, pray, eat, have light conversations as well as heavy talks as well and just sleep. I think we pretty well hit the bases of rest, review, renew and reconnect.

Stations of the Cross

After arrival at Sycamore Tree, we walked and prayed the Stations which reimagine the last journey of Christ to Golgotha and then up on to the Cross. As we reflected on the final journey, 

we mixed in the story of creation to remind us we were created by God to inhabit a world created for us and he found that the world was good, and we were very good, worthy of living on earth. We were created in love so we could love him, but we fell into sin from the fall of Adam and Eve, and we needed redemption. We then read John 1 and floated into the mystical human and divine person of Jesus who connects us to God and each of us to each other. Mankind loved and redeemed.

Thursday

ROMANS 13:1-2

Let every person be subordinate to the higher authorities, for there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been established by God. Therefore, whoever resists authority opposes what God has appointed, and those who oppose it will bring judgment upon themselves.

And

Colossians 3:12-18

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if one has a grievance against another; as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do. And over all these put-on loves, that is, the bond of perfection. And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were also called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Wives, be subordinate to your husbands, as is proper in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and avoid any bitterness toward them.

The first passage from Romans was the first reading at Mass. The second came from evening prayer of the liturgy of the hours the night before. The first passage speaks about the need to obey civil authority but another, broader, meaning came into focus when held up to Colossians. We are given instruction on how to live our lives in a beautiful, gentle way. We could spend a lifetime dwelling on just one sentence out of the several found here. We would be well served to pray the prayer every morning and then spend the day trying to live up to the expectations expressed in every line.

What is the connection? For me, it was in line 19 in which I am to love my wife. How best to love her? Obey her. Listen to her at the level of a changing encounter. She is my higher authority. I pray for the grace to be a higher authority for her in return.

Wonder – Beauty – Longing – Belonging

In the afternoon, I introduce the mystical spirituality of John O’Donohue with the idea Celtic Christian Spirituality might enrich your sabbath times. Pursuit of these things serves as important anchors for me during my daily life. The longing to belong is an essential part of our being. It is longing that binds us together in every aspect, marriage, family, church, community, and so on. Longing is what spurred us to enter into the mystery of the revelation and changed Abraham from pagan to Jew. In so doing, we all became something different than what was before. We know we need to connect to God to give our life purpose.

Please allow me to use the poem as a blessing for us that we might long and belong together.

FOR LONGING

by John O Donohue

Blessed be the longing that brought you here

and quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease

to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity, and friendship –

be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness

with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you

John 1:38

Jesus turned and saw them following him and said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying? “He said to them, “Come, and you will see.” So they went and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day. It was about four in the afternoon.

I posed the questions “What are you looking for” and “What would you find when you went to see where Jesus was staying?” for us to reflect on and, curiously, it was about 4 in the afternoon when I did. As I prayed and considered the answer for myself, these things from Meister Eckhart came to mind not just for me but for all of us:

- Rusty: To be full of things is to empty of God. The challenge for us is to be empty of all things so God might fill the void. If we can empty all things not of God, all that remains is of God. That is who we are. We are not the construct we fashion to show the world that is really an empty shell. To know who you are and to accept that person is the deepest and most critical value of longing and belonging. To know who we are and to belong to the person is the grounding of all things human. Know this – I love the person I see when I look at you.

- Penny: All God wants of us is a peaceful heart. Peace is elusive to the wounded heart. It may not be achievable at all. Understand that being hurt is part of the mission we have to be engaged with the world. I fear wounding enough it keeps me from pursuing what might be expected of me. The wounding you experience is because you are reaching out. Allow your hurt to connect you to Christ to the hurt he suffered as a human. Reflect on this from John 11:35 – “And Jesus wept.” We see your hurt and we will reach out to embrace you in consolation. You belong to us.

- Lori: Do what you would do if you were most secure. To be honest, I am not sure why that came to mind. Perhaps it is because you are stepping into a long, broad, tall, and deep journey into prayer and contemplation, and it is a huge commitment. That certainly is a daunting mountain to climb.

- Rick: The most important person is the one sitting across from you. For me, that person is Lori. She is the most important person to me. I longed for her to come along and now I long to belong to her. Above all other persons, places, or things.

This last quote from Eckhart should be something we do every day that we might gain the full measure of what the day holds for us:

“Be willing to begin each day as a beginner.”

Mother Teresa Prayer

"Do It Anyway" 

• People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self centered. Forgive them anyway. 
• If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. 
• If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway. 
• If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway. 
• What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway. 
• If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway. 
• The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway. 
• Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway. 
• In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway. ~Mother Teresa

This is an important prayer because it tells us that failure is a part of success, falling down is part of getting up, and everything anyway because it is how we respond to God’s call. This is the test of faith. To do things anyway even though we might fail is not something that is possible unless we have faith that everything we do conforms to God’s plan. How things turn out is up to him. As I wrestle with what it means to be a missionary these days, the prayer is on point for me as well. A seed was planted, and it has now grown to offer me shade and comfort from the heat.

Listening:

Rule of St. Benedict, Prologue:

Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instructions, and attend to them with the ear of your heart. This is the advice from a father who loves you; welcome it, and faithfully put it into practice. The labor of obedience will bring you back to him from whom you had drifted through the sloth of disobedience. This message of mine is for you, then, if you are ready to give up your own will, once and for all, and armed with the strong and noble weapons of obedience to do battle for the true King, Christ the Lord.

Looking back over the days we spent together the first words of the rule of St. Benedict best capture for me the call to answer as came out of retreat and back to daily life. As an oblate, listening is the first thing I need to embrace from the moment I open my eyes in the morning until I close them at night. I hope that what dreams may come will bring words for me to listen to as well. I have begun to really study how to Listen to God so I can wrap what I learn into daily prayer, reading, encounters with others, and with the Word that I might know what God has in store for me. We all Listen. It is difficult sometimes and other times it is so easy it is simply pure comfort. Listening to St. Benedict, Saint Mother Teresa, John O’Donohue, Meister Eckhart, and scripture allow us to turn toward God. To be holy is simply to orient ourselves toward God and respond to Him in the many ways the spirit calls us toward him.

Peace be with you.

Post Script

In the days since the retreat but most particularly in the last week the question I can’t seem to escape is “What are you looking for?” It is never far from my mind whether I am tying a fly, sweetening kale, standing knee-deep in the river, or when I am quieting down my heart for prayer time. The answer, no, an answer comes when I receive the Eucharist. Another answer comes when I dig into a scripture passage. Yet another when Lori and I are quietly enjoying a movie on TV. Other times include when playing with Jane or watching the wind in the trees or hearing ducks on the pond yacking and splattering before taking off.

What am I looking for? The answers all add up to one thing, the same response given by Jesus. “Come and you will see.”

I am in good company, no, great company. Let’s look and listen together.

Take Nothing For the Journey - September 22, 2021

Luke 9:1-6

Jesus summoned the Twelve and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them to proclaim the Kingdom of God and to heal the sick.

He said to them, “Take nothing for the journey, neither walking stick, nor sack, nor food, nor money, and let no one take a second tunic. Whatever house you enter, stay there and leave from there. And as for those who do not welcome you, when you leave that town, shake the dust from your feet in testimony against them.”

Then they set out and went from village to village proclaiming the good news and curing diseases everywhere.

I don’t like this gospel passage. Not one little bit. I don’t like to be reminded about the great commission calling that ends the book of Matthew because it makes me uncomfortable. It is virtually impossible for me to even think about taking up the task of bringing the good news of the gospel to strangers who may react negatively to the offer.  The possibility of just one bad experience one time does the job just fine.

We live in a place and time that is referred to as being post-Christian. We Christians have had our time in the sun but in the eyes of many, we blew it. Our faith has been tarred and feathered by revelations about decades of abuse and mistreatment of the most vulnerable members of society, most sorrowfully our children. We are seen as bigots who deprive those who don’t believe like us of their basic human rights. That is not how we see it but the sting of rejection causes me to look away, wincing from the sound of the accusations.

Still, the call to evangelize has not faded away. It has become all the more important and we need to see the call expressed in the gospel reading as being personal, individual to each of us and we are invited to respond in the full measure our station in life will permit. I ask, what do I, an older, white, male, straight, orthodox, conservative, rich guy have to offer anyone? Do I have any hope of proclaiming a message with any relevance to anyone who does not look and act like me? Not much, I would imagine, not much at all.

There is no doubt, however, a message for me to hear in the passage. I am challenged to listen to hear what is being said and respond. There are 4 ways of listening I would like to touch in the coming weeks. I am going to use all 4 now by way of introduction to come to some understanding of what we are supposed to hear being said to us because we are all alike.

1.  The natural world. God speaks to us through beauty and the marvels of nature. How can the natural world reach out to us about this passage? Perhaps we can just imagine the journey. I pull up an image of the countryside they would pass through as they go from village to village. There are fields with sheep and cattle, vineyards, farms with grain, and other foodstuffs being grown. The sun is shining brightly as you would expect. Maybe there would be some kind of adverse weather to endure as they traveled. I close my eyes and walk with them. I listen to the hard scratch of the gravel crunching beneath my feet. I feel the heat of the sun on my shoulders and smell the smells of fields and soil. I can hear the wind or maybe irritating gronking of ravens calling out from the olive groves. Nature would keep the disciples folded up in its broad arms while they travel. I can let it gather me as well.
2.  Human life. The passage has been weighing on my mind for several days, so I have had time for it to simmer. Perhaps the solution for me is to not think in terms of big changes or life-altering efforts. On Monday I had the need to go downtown to run some errands. As I was returning to my
   
   
   car, I arrived at the corner at the same time as I grizzled, handicapped old guy, wearing torn and tattered clothing and an Aussie style hat so common among defeated Viet Nam war vets. He had a grungy gray beard and unkempt locks of hair escaped from under this hat. He used a cane to help him trudge along. I accidentally made eye contact so I had no choice but to react to him. Shamefully, he was the kind of guy I would try to avoid if I had the choice but, on this day, I was committed. I had to do something. I smiled and greeted him. I held my hand offered to help him step up on the curb gut he waved me away. “I got it,” he said. He stepped up on the curb and started down the street away from me. I did what all good cowards do. I just walked past him, got in the car and drove away. I did not look back then but I have looked multiple times since the moment. The event bothered me. There was more I could have done, should have done, wanted to do but I lacked the insight or will to act. The unsettled feeling tells me I have to do things differently next time. I met the Bishop recently and his words to me echo in my ears. “Go be a missionary to the people of Montana,” he said. He had no interest in hearing about my life contemplation and service at the Sycamore Tree. I realized I was so busy finding ways to say “no” to big ways to be a missionary, I missed the little one right in front of me. Lesson, I hope, learned.
3. Sacred scripture. This scripture reading caused me to listen to the words written as they speak to what is asked me. Not big things, at least not now, but little things I can easily do often. Little things. Hmm. I have heard that before. I think the rest of the sentence is "with great love". Do little things with great
   
   
   love. Of course, Therese of Lisieux said it and they made her a doctor of the church. I guess there is something to the idea of little things with great love. I think I can give that a try.
4. Interior Silence. The words that have escaped the recesses of my mind onto the screen did not just show up. I waited and listened for them to come, for them to point the way to go, for them to give the calm that comes from a resolve to act differently. I let the thoughts, images, ideas, and concepts just roll around like little rocks in a bucket until God’s voice echoed through my heart. Little things with great love. I can do that. I will do that and see where it leads me.

I have reason to go back downtown later this week. Will I have a chance to practice what I have come to accept? Probably not. God does not often allow us the opportunity to be prepared to respond to the opportunities he wants us to consider. If we read the passage again, we will understand, me very reluctantly, we are not to be prepared in advance in order we might trust the Holy Spirit to guide us in every aspect of our mission. Yikes. I will be more alert, however, to what I might discover and I promise I will have the courage to try again. Amen.

Our Lady of Sorrows

John 19:25-27

Standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother.” And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.

Luke 2:33-35

Jesus’ father and mother were amazed at what was said about him; and Simeon blessed them and said to Mary his mother, “Behold, this child is destined for the fall and rise of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be contradicted and you yourself a sword will pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

While I wish I could roll back to the clock to a time when many of us gathered around the table and broke open the word with each other while we broke bread together, we all have to recognize we have drifted far downstream from there. I suspect the time is coming when I won’t be able to join you regularly as I become more involved with the community here and we travel more. If this summer does not serve as a strong indicator of what is coming I would have to confess to not paying attention.

That being the case, I want to focus closely on what I am moved to share with you after a summer of prayer, reflection, and study. First, I want to share with you the process by which I enter into the reflections I have shared with you that you might be able to add them to your regular spiritual practice. Second, in the coming weeks, I want to share with you some lessons I am learning about listening to God.

 
Back to today. Rather than lay out the full process of the rough order of the steps I follow with some regularity in one big bite, I will share parts of the process with you over the next few weeks. 

Steps:

1. Read. Read the text slowly several times. Often I will read it out loud a few times just to be sure the reading sinks into my consciousness. 
2. Analyze. Next, I will reflect on what the text is saying while trying to divert my opinion away from the review. Most of the time the gospel will very clearly tell us what we should do or not do in a given situation. What is the message being sent?
3. Investigate. I will then look for the context of the passage. Where was He? Who was he talking to? What preceded and followed the chosen passage? How might the historical setting deflect us from the truth based upon what know today? If I was present at the time how would the experience affect me?

As I read and investigated the passage an image began to emerge in my mind and soon I could not think of anything else.  This statue by Michelangelo is called the Pieta. Let’s use this photo of the statue to help us focus on the heart of the gospel.  

We are including Visio Divina as part of our reflection process so let’s take a minute to study the statue and try to take in everything it represents as we look at step 4. 

4.   Ponder. I will let the scripture roll around in my brain for a time. Usually, I will take time between steps 3 and 4 to let things percolate. Often time I will get several different impressions that when I consider them further turn out to be dead ends. Sometimes something never develops and I will just pull up some other reflection. It happens. 

5.   Focus. When an impression begins to develop like a photo I play with it and see how it intersects with my life and what I should learn from the picture revealed to me. 

Release. When I have a more fully formed view of the message, I look at what the message means to me. There is always a lesson to embrace and from the emotions will follow. Gratitude. Commitment. Forgiveness. Inspiration. Love. Whatever the feeling, it reflects the grace of God and there is Joy that comes from the grace given and then shared.

The memorial the church recognizes today is the sorrow of our lady. The lesson is not just to remind us what Mary endure as the mother of Jesus to also recognize the suffering of others, other mothers, other parents, other human beings. Mary’s suffering grew out of the sorrowful death of a man who was also divine and so through her suffering, we are all saved. Mary would have us also look at others who suffer, all others, in fact, and not just a few. If we can somehow wrap around the suffering we all endure, our suffering will have a purpose if we give it back to God and share it with him. The consolation for Mary was the resurrection of Jesus and her life with him in eternity. Our consolation is our suffering will lead us to eternal if we have the faith to look beyond the present tribulations to life in the hereafter. 

 Look again at Mary. What do you see in her face? I see acceptance and in the acceptance, there is one more Fiat – let it be as God intended. Let her example help us come to acceptance. 

The Vineyard

GOSPEL

Matthew 20:1-16

Jesus told his disciples this parable:
“The Kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out at dawn to hire laborers for his vineyard. After agreeing with them for the usual daily wage, he sent them into his vineyard. Going out about nine o’clock, he saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and he said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard, and I will give you what is just.’ So they went off. And he went out again around noon, and around three o’clock, and did likewise. Going out about five o’clock, he found others standing around, and said to them, ‘Why do you stand here idle all day?’ They answered, ‘Because no one has hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You too go into my vineyard.’ When it was evening the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Summon the laborers and give them their pay, beginning with the last and ending with the first.’ When those who had started about five o’clock came, each received the usual daily wage. So when the first came, they thought that they would receive more, but each of them also got the usual wage. And on receiving it they grumbled against the landowner, saying, ‘These last ones worked only one hour, and you have made them equal to us, who bore the day’s burden and the heat.’ He said to one of them in reply, ‘My friend, I am not cheating you. Did you not agree with me for the usual daily wage? Take what is yours and go. What if I wish to give this last one the same as you? Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money? Are you envious because I am generous?’ Thus, the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

We know this passage well. It has popped up often over the decade plus we have meeting together. Despite this, the passage seems different to me this time around. 

 

I want to get back into the groove of Wednesday meetings and I have been away from the practice of lectio divina for some weeks, I decided to review the reading for 8/18 a few days in advance just to get things going again

 

The day I chose was particularly hot even though we seem to have been caught up in a heat wave the likes of which I don’t remember experiencing in years. I came inside to the respite of AC after having worked in the yard for several hours. I had tried to find the sweet spot to mow after the dew dried but before the heat fired up in the afternoon but there was not of a chance to hit it that day  The humidity was up, the dew point temperature of 72 which is unheard of in this part of the world. The point is the air was steamy before I even took a step.

 

Tired, hot, sweaty and parched, I experienced the reading in a different, darker and more negative way. I found myself rooting for the workers who had been first hired and labored away through the heat of the day for the same pay as those who barely broke a sweat. It did not seem fair. What we receive for our work and effort should be measured for what we give. Somethings should not be and are not equal. I could understand for the first time just how honked off the guys hired first might have been. 

 

Fortunately I usually don’t settle down to write after the first review. I like to let the readings percolate some before I try to engage them with purpose. I put the reading aside but I was troubled by the impression and I wondered how I could have such a different take as I had that day.

 

We went to the Vigil Mass for the Assumption of Mary on Saturday. During the quiet time before Mass, the Matthew came to mind again. I still had the lingering effect of the different take on the reaction of the first workers hired. What they felt still felt very real and very emotional even sitting in the coolness of the church. The context and perspective I had for the parable seems to have been permanently amended. 

 

Something else developed as well, however, as I reflected further on the nature of work if the fields of Lord. Yes, it can be difficult at times but what kind of work are we talking about? To be more specific, to work in his kingdom is to engage in far different work than just tending to a vineyard. Or a yard. Or an insurance business or an auto repair shop. Those kinds of work are part of what we are hired by the master to do but there is more. Much more. We are called to bear witness to the gospel, to meet the needs of the poor, to offer care, compassion and empathy to the physically or mentally wounded. Our job is to also pray, sing praises, study his word with each other and to help save lost sheep. 

 

It is not just the work that is different but the pay is different. What we get for serving in the kingdom can’t be measured in a way we can fully understand. Eternal life? That is the promise and it is be all and end all of our faith but I don’t think about eternal life as I go through the day. I am far too simple minded and short focused for that to be any kind of real motivator.  I know I am not alone. It is also a fact no matter how hard we work, we can never earn what is freely given to us. At the end of the day, our pay is unmerited no matter how hard or long we work. The return is not a return, it is a gift we chose to accept by offering faith and service. 

 

In our mission to evangelize, re-evangelize and to convert and re-convert, we don’t place any kind of limitation in what we hope our pilgrims receive. We want them to receive full measure. We rejoice when they gain even taste or glimpse of the kingdom we are trying to share. In fact we are often happiest for those who arrive the latest. The father in the prodigal son loves both sons the same. All that matters is for them to respond to the embrace offered by the kingdom. 

 

Sitting here this morning on cool rainy morning, it occurs to me, the work I do every day is not about the reward promised for some day in the future, I do it for today. I do it for how it makes me feel right now to know I am in the kingdom and my brothers are here with me. I am absolutely certain you come to this table for the exact same reason. 

 

Lord, help us to do your work today to help find workers for your vineyard. 

Matthew 5-17

We have said that Matthew’s gospel is primarily directed at a readership with a Jewish background. It is clear that their Jewish background and traditions were things which it was not easy for Christian converts to give up. Both Paul and Matthew go out of their way to assure Jewish converts that Christianity is not a rejection of Judaism but its natural development. It is everything that Judaism is and more. 

So, in today’s passage which continues the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus solemnly assures his readers, “Do not imagine that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets. I have come not to abolish but to complete them.” Jesus has not come not to terminate the Law but to bring it to a higher level. (In a rough simile, it is like the upgrading of a computer by e.g. increasing its memory. It is still the same computer doing the same things, only better and faster.) The vision of Jesus helps us to see the Law in a new light. 

So Jesus says that the Law is still to be observed. Of course, we will see very clearly in the following days exactly what Jesus means. He is not saying that every single injunction of the Law (some of which seem very strange to us) has to be literally observed but rather that the spirit behind those injunctions is still in force. His words are meant to console but they are also a challenge, as we shall see. The New Law does not mean simply the addition of new elements. There is what we would call now a ‘paradigm shift’ to a Way which goes beyond laws to the Law of Love. 

In our Church, too, we need to be ready to move forward creatively to new ways of understanding our faith and living it out. The traditions of the past are still valid but we must never get bogged down in them to the extent that we do not respond to the clear signs of the times. Tradition can be understood in two ways: either as a fundamental belief that has existed from the very beginning or simply a way of doing or understanding things which has been around for a long time. 

When will the Church stop changing? we hear some people ask. The answer is, Hopefully never. The day we close ourselves to change is the day we die, as Paul warns us in the Second Letter to the Corinthians. To quote Cardinal Newman, To live is to change; to be perfect is to have changed often. He knew about change. He made radical changes in his own understanding of the Christian faith, changes which he saw as unavoidable although they involved great sacrifices on his part and led him from the Anglican to the Catholic Church.

Talitha Koum

Jairus’s Daughter. 

When Jesus had crossed again [in the boat] to the other side, a large crowd gathered around him, and he stayed close to the sea. One of the synagogue officials, named Jairus, came forward. Seeing him he fell at his feet and pleaded earnestly with him, saying, “My daughter is at the point of death. Please, come lay your hands on her that she may get well and live.” He went off with him, and a large crowd followed him and pressed upon him. While he was still speaking, people from the synagogue official’s house arrived and said, “Your daughter has died; why trouble the teacher any longer?” Disregarding the message that was reported, Jesus said to the synagogue official, “Do not be afraid; just have faith.” He did not allow anyone to accompany him inside except Peter, James, and John, the brother of James. When they arrived at the house of the synagogue official, he caught sight of a commotion, people weeping and wailing loudly. So he went in and said to them, “Why this commotion and weeping? The child is not dead but asleep.”And they ridiculed him. Then he put them all out. He took along the child’s father and mother and those who were with him and entered the room where the child was. He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise!” The girl, a child of twelve, arose immediately and walked around. [At that] they were utterly astounded. He gave strict orders that no one should know this and said that she should be given something to eat.

I have given much thought and prayer about how to unpack this passage, hoping to find a softer, easier landing for what has been revealed to me. Nothing has come to mind so away we go. For nearly every Christian, there are passages in the Bible where the words draw a believer into a crucible, an act where faith and experience are cast into a furnace hotter than the sun. After the smelter cools, the person comes out with the dross that weakened them discarded and their troubles sanctified. What remains is a person changed by the encounter. This simple little story about a synagogue official and his daughter is one place where life shoved me headlong into a crucible which only after a long period of time has left me to rest with memory and shared experience.

The gospel story is simple. Jesus was walking through a crowd when a Jew who normally would have curled his lip at Jesus and insulted him, became desperate enough seek the help of Jesus for his ill daughter. Jesus agreed to come to offer help. Along the way, Jesus healed another person but before they could get to the home of the official, the word came the girl died. Jesus challenged the official, a man named Jarius to have faith even in the face of terrible news. When they arrived at the house, they found a household consume by grief. When Jesus asked why they were grieving because there girl was not dead but was sleeping, they jeered him in doubt.

Now comes the moment of the crucible. “Talitha Koum,” Jesus called. “Little girl, raise up.” The girl woke up and was healed.

Let me tell the story of the crucible. On a fine sunny day like this in June 1986, I accompanied my wife to the baby doctor’s office to check on the health of a baby who was in the 28th week of pregnancy. Life was good. In January of that year we had been graced to adopt a baby boy after several years of trying to have another baby. Our first attempt ended in the 28th week, an event which shattered us but we then were excited to embrace the remarkable truth of the old wife’s tale that the best cure for infertility was to to adopt. A natural baby would soon follow along when adoption would relax the high anxiety of trying to conceive.

During the course of the examination, the mood in the room changed. The Ultrasound Nurse become more and more agitated moving the microphone around my wife’s stomach before the nurse jumped out and ran out of the room. A few minutes later one of the doctors in the clinic, not our normal doctors, came in with a ashen countenance. He used the microphone himself for a few minutes but then all he had to do was turn and look at us and we knew. The baby had died.


The worst part had to follow, an induced delivery and the arrival of a lifeless baby. Calling on our faith to sustain us through another tragedy, we did what as needed. In the hours prior to the delivery, I was drawn back to this verse over and over again.

Thoughts plagued me. Why Jairus and not us? Why did this happen again? Why was it so hard to have a baby? There are no answers understood in the moment, only the stark recognition that resurrection and eternal life requires death. Death, such a strange, terrible and beautiful word.

The nurse wrapped the baby girl up in a blanket and her to me and left us to be alone with the moment. I could not speak. My wife could not speak. We just sat it took it all in or at least we tried to take in the finality of the moment. I wish now I had written more about the minutes we spent together because time has erased many of the details that seemed so vivid then A sudden fury welled up in me and I stifled the urge to scream out in anger. The emotion faded and an unfamiliar voice began to talk. The words I spoke stunned me then and they still burn though my heart today

I said, “Jairus and his family heard Jesus say, “Talitha Koum” and the dead girl woke up and lived again. I can’t begin to understand this but, I name you, our daughter, Talitha and so knowing you will arise some day also but today.” I anointed the baby with Holy Water I had in a bottle in my pocket. How it came to be I had the little squeeze bottle in my possession remains a mystery. Perhaps there was plan hatched deep down inside me to do what I did but I don’t remember any such thing. I repeated the triune baptism ritual and gave the baby over to my wife.

What I did that day was right thing to do. It declared a faith I doubted, consumed as I was by grief and anger, and it comforted my wife whose faith was triumphant. I know now Talitha will raise up again. We all will. The miracle for Jairus was needed to help Jesus teach the point. There is still no answer why there was no miracle for us and that our daughter fell asleep before her first breath. Such questions are imponderable. What comes to mind is the magnificent son we born to us 15 months later. He is an incredible human being and the challenges he has overcome amaze me. He treats others exactly as the gospel demands. God does not bargain but certainly if Talitha had not died, Brian might never have been born. Another imponderable I have to leave to God.

The crucible has cooled now. My faith is restored and enlarged. The story of Jairus did what was needed by bringing me from where I was to where I am. I don’t know how to describe this place other than to say I have a sure and certain knowledge I am and we are exactly where God intended. I remember John, our first baby who came to prepare the way for the others children given us and Talitha this morning with gratitude for the gift of the resurrection and the promise of life eternal. Amen.