As A Deer Longs For Streams of Water

While the Psalms are filled to overflowing with beautiful images that can be comforting or poignant, the first stanza of Psalm 42 is particularly evocative of our sense of being lost in a world that seems contrary and hostile. The imagery of a deer seems to be misplaced because one does not think of deer as being a common animal in ancient Israel but it is still very powerful because deer are common place in my daily life. It is a rare week when I don't see deer in my neighborhood or even bedded down in my yard.

The interesting thing about the deer I see is that they are essentially urbanized and make their living munching on whatever they find in yards and parks and that includes flowers, shrubs and trees that were planted with love and effort. The response we tend to have toward the deer calls to mind the hostility the psalmist is lamenting. The deer are only trying to make a living but they are creating anger and hostility that is directed at them. While they don't have to fear many natural predators, they have to be on guard for dogs on the loose and for vehicles. When the fence around the backyard was down for replacement, I have to confess the use of a pellet gun in a doomed effort to keep them out of the garden and away for the birdbaths and fountain.

The deer, however, are not sentient but we are. I am. Time and experience are bringing clarity to my questioning if reliance on God is the better thing compared to reliance on my own will. I am aware the emptiness of the thirst within ne arises out of a need for living water that only comes from God. I have committed to seeking his waters and await their delivery. 

Like the psalmist, I can recall the times of joy when we entered into his presence and how sweet the memories of those moments remain well after they have passed. Recollection and remembrance resurrect dreams of peace that are right here directly in front of me. 

Deep calls to deep - the waves seem overwhelming and violently dangerous as the dark and separation beckons me with temptations to yield to moment pleasures that are not benign but are in fact cancerous and threaten my well-being. The great lesson from the laments we find the Psalms is that no matter how dark the night or fierce the storm or hostile the surroundings, the cry for help is an appeal to God. The prayer will sustain psalmist. My prayer will sustain me as I look ahead to the troubled waters and forbidding slopes that lie between me and relief.

Richard Rohr writes about God's love:

"Love protects us from nothing, even as it unexplainably sustains us in all things. Access to this love is not limited by our finite ideas of what it is or what it should be. Rather, this love overwhelms our abilities to comprehend it, as it so unexplainably sustains us and continues to draw us to itself in all that life might send our way."

This is not a day of deliverance but it is a day of hope and determination. 

Psalm 42:12

"Why are you downcast, my soul, why do you groan within me? Wait for God, for I shall again praise him, my savior and my God."

The Reboot

A New Morning.

No matter what yesterday brought or even all the yesterday's before yesterday, we have a new chance every day to make things different, to take different paths, to make other decisions. 

There is no ground hogs day curse. We are not doomed to relive the same day over and over again without hope of a different out come. 

Every morning, as the light breaks across the eastern sky, we have the choice of saying, this day will be different. In fact we have no choice but to make a decision every day, we have to chose who we will serve, who we will honor, who we will remember. That is how it is. It is neither good or bad in itself. It was was we chose that day, or this day, that well make all of the difference. 

As a Benedictine, we are comforted over and over again with this:

Always, we begin again. 

Reduced to Zero - God will reduce to zero those whom he chooses to use.

Nothing, of course, could be considered to be a synonym of zero and zero is the point of my attempt at re-genesis or, in more modern vernacular,  a complete system reboot. I have been living caught in the space between how most of the world sees me, or, more likely, how I think most of the world sees me and how I am actually am at home where wholeness of person really matters most. 

For 11 years I have operated under the delusion that recovery of alcoholism is all that was really need because everything else, personality wise, would fall into place. I would embrace the 9th step promises and life in a world of happy, happy, joy, joy ever more. The truth is alcoholism was really just an open and obvious expression of a far deeper problem that was only covered over by recovery. Don't misunderstand, alcoholism was literally killing me and it had to be addressed. It was killing me physically, killing my relationships, killing my sense of worth and ability to function in the world. It had to be addressed or else nothing else would have mattered.

What has happened since I began recovery is really a conundrum. There have been many great blessings but also many great sorrows. There has been countless efforts to continue recovery but using the word recovery is really misleading because it implies there was something of value that was lost to begin with. At this point and in this place I am not recovering anything, I am growing new things that were promised but were never planted.

From the perspective of alcoholism, my recovery is complete. Now comes the hard part. To borrow the analogy of agriculture, it is time to clear the land, pick the rocks, break the soil, eradicate the weeds, fertilize the soil, plant the seeds of purpose filled life and the nourish whatever grows in this garden God has in mind for me. At this time I am doing the preparation work to begin the process. I am measuring the plot and determining what tools I need to use and where to start.

Knowing myself and my tendencies, I can't allow myself to stall out in the planning and miss the time to plant by mistaking planning for actual production.

This is minus three days to the full system reboot. With these words, I am taking the first steps toward pushing the power off button.

31. The seed of God is in us.

“The seed of God is in us. Given an intelligent and hard-working farmer, it will thrive and grow up to God, whose seed it is; and accordingly, its fruits will be God-nature. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God-seed into God.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Here we are 31 days later, our journey into the teachings of Eckhart have reached the last station of the is voyage. This will not be my only trip with Eckhart, but for now there are other destinations to consider and study but I am confident I will return to him again in the future. This journey has been at a relatively high speed in order to travel as far as necessary to understand the scope of his teaching but I will no doubt make other other trips, branched off the mainline at much slower speed for there is so much to take in. For now, it is time to let what I have seen and experienced rest and settle into deeper levels of thought and awareness. Much has been gained, much learned and much more promised.

Again we come back to trees. The sand cherry tree that defines the view out my front window is silent, the remnants of the leaves and fruit of the year withered and crackled. The tree has seasons and we measure our days to the seasons of the tree. What has been produced is now stored away or spent. The cherries have dried and toughened but will hang tight to the tree through the darkness of winter and offer sustenance to the squirrels and magpies that live in my yard. Come spring flittering, skittering flocks of waxwings will invade and nearly pick the tree clean creating room for a new crop which will soon bloom and grow into purple fruit.

My life, for now, is tied to my cherry tree and as I watch a squirrel racing up and down the branches, there comes a sense of hope I might become an intelligent and hardworking farmers whose job is to raise the seed to thrive and grow up to God’s plan, regardless of what kind of seed I have been given to raise. What beautiful imagery, we will be rewarded with a fruit that bears true life, God fruit from God seed.

Amen, amen.

The overriding principle we have learned over the last 31 days is that God exists and we exist in him. We are called to narrow our focus to and to reduce that which distracts us so we can create the space in our souls where our God Sense will increase and our self sense will diminish.

What I have learned that is most wonderful is that we know God best by knowing his love and our best name for him is compassion.

Amen, amen again.

30. When you seek anything of your own, you will never find God.

“Know that when you seek anything of your own, you will never find God, because you do not seek God purely. You are seeking something along with God, and you are acting just as if you were to make a candle out of God in order to look for something with it. Once one finds the things one is looking for, one throws the candle away. This is what you are doing.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This one is a twister we will have to step through carefully because on initial reading it does not seem to make sense and the point is not easy to intuit.

When we seek anything on our own we will never find God. God created us to search for him but in order for him to reveal anything of himself, our search for him must be guided. He does so through the teaching authority of the church which helps us to search for him, to know what we are looking for and for whose we search. On our own we get distracted which directs our searching in places for where we cannot find him even though there is no where were he is not.

We seek things to fill holes within us things we mistake for God, material things or spiritual things that do not emanate from him. Meditation is one such example. The difference between meditation and meditative prayer is that prayer is focused on the relationship between God and ourselves. Meditation is a search for answers in places where no answers can be found. True peace, true value, true meaning, and true understanding can only come from God. To meditate with a connection to God is to attempt to use God as a candle only light the way to where we want to go rather than to be called to where we need.

Any search for meaning has to be conducted within the framework of our God, our creator and redeemer and saving spirit.

29. The soul is created in a place between Time and Eternity

“The soul is created in a place between Time and Eternity: with its highest powers it touches Eternity, with its lower Time.” ~ Meister Eckhart
Here is mysticism takes root. Time would seem to be without meaning in the context eternity, an attempt to count the countless and measure the unmeasurable. Our souls, once created, are eternal, our existence is without limits. Still, time has a great impact on his. As humans, we life a measured and finite existence. Time is the construct used to give order and perspective to our humanity and human lives. Time is the measure of second, minutes, hours, days and years that relate to our time on earth. Our souls take up residence in an human body for a measured amount of time between life and death. Our bodies are restricted by time but our souls are eternal so we are truly created in a space between time and eternity because we know both, one presently and the other in a time come.

Our souls need our bodies to live our lives where we come experience the revelation of God and his resurrected son. It is during life we learn the lessons we need to grasp our relationships with a created world with physical limits. We need to experience life and death, sorrow and joy, tragedy and new life. Without struggle we would never grow in awareness of him and his power and love for us.

We are both mortal and eternal so time and eternal so both are integral to our 

development as sentient beings with a sense of awe and love with our creator.

28. God is a thousand times more ready to give than we are to receive.

“Above all else, know this: Be prepared at all times for the gifts of God and be ready always for new ones. For God is a thousand times more ready to give than we are to receive.” ~ Meister Eckhart

I like to think of grace as being the air that surrounds at times during the cascade of our days through the time we call life. It is always there, always available, always precious and life giving, life affirming and life transforming.

We travel through our time only occasionally read to receive his gifts his grace brings us. Most times we don't think to receive, don't think we need to receive, don't want to receive his gifts because we pride our on our so called self-reliance. As Quoheleth would say, our acts result vanities.

I seldom remember his gifs are available for the asking when I struggle with a decision, relationship or event. It is so hard to push my ego down and away and create a space in my heart where God can enter in with his loving mercy and give me the graces I seldom have earned and never deserve.

God is that way because he can not ever be any other way always loving and encouraging. We, on the other hand, seem to wander through our days thinking we are in control and we have need of the cross and resurrection.

How wrong we are. We need his gifts always.

27. As long as you love another person less than yourself, you will not succeed in loving yourself

If you love yourself, you love everybody else as you do yourself. As long as you love another person less than yourself, you will not succeed in loving yourself, but if you love all alike, including yourself, you will love them as one person and that person is both God and man. Thus he is the great righteous person who, loving himself, loves all others equally.” ~ Meister Eckhart

For 26 days we have focused on the inner mind and soul in an effort to reach deeper into the contemplative mind to find union or at least contact with God. Now we get a curve ball. We have to look outside ourselves and love all of our fellow humans as we do ourselves. That is, after all the, the most important commandment we have in the New Testament, to love one another as we love ourselves.

This love thing is kind of tricky. We tend to associate self-love as being narcissistic and vain. To love yourself is negative habit that reeks of pride when we are constantly reminded to be humble. There something more here to consider about self-love because we are asked to compare that love to the love shared with us with Christ and to imitate it.

The nature of that kind of love all encompassing. There is affection, friendship, patience, compassion, empathy, enjoyment, pleasure, faithfulness and kindness all wrapped up into one embrace of grace and mercy. We have to be all of those things to ourselves. This love is not about achievement, success, material things, superiority or even gloating and haughtiness toward others.

That seems to be a strange notion, to be kind to yourself. Of course there is action involved. Because God is love and we know God through his love for us, our love for ourselves has to be outwardly expressed. We don't get to just pretend we have affection for all others but we have to love them in the same we love ourselves with all of the attributes listed above. As hard as is it to love myself, it is even harder to love others in the same way. Heck, there seems to be a larger number of people I don't even like much less love than I can bring myself to like or love.

If we all did, however, love ourselves and one another just imagine what life would be like here. The truth is it will never happen here because our humanness always will get in the way. All we can do is imitate Christ to the extent we can and hope we can experience and ability from the effort.

26. Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness

“There is a huge silence inside each of us that beckons us into itself, and the recovery of our own silence can begin to teach us the language of heaven.” ~ Meister Eckhart
~~~~~~~~~~
“Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness.” ~ Meister Eckhart
I am conditioned to look for God in places the Irish call “thin places”, places of beauty like rivers, mountains, forests, lake or ocean shores, gardens and so on. I am also conditioned to expect to hear God in the noise as if he were trying to complete with the chaos around us. We can hear his words, sometimes, in the wind or the falling of rain but God is truly in the silence. Where all else ends, only he remains even though he was always everywhere. The encounter him stillness is to have found a way to empty ourselves of our daily noises, concerns and questions. We stop talking. We stop listening. We stop waiting. We just encounter the stillness and know love and peace. I long for those moments. The promise of them haunt me.

The stillness can be found here and now even in the cacophony of life. The silence I seek is not in the material, physical world, it is the spaces inside where no other thing exists. Wow. That hurts my brain.

25. Wisdom consists in doing the next thing you have to do, with your whole heart.

“Wisdom consists in doing the next thing you have to do, doing it with your whole heart, and finding delight in doing it.” ~ Meister Eckhart

It was once attributed to St. John Vianney, the patrol of priests, “A need in the world is met by a deep joy in me.” I struggle with this even though AA tries to teach us every day to have the courage to do the next right thing. AA has been around for just over 75 years. Eckhart taught us this around 700 years ago. There are no original thoughts, only restatements of principles that exist through time.

AA does not dwell on doing the next right thing with your whole heart or to do so with delight. It would seem that doing the next right thing should be enough. Perhaps the doing the next right thing implies doing it for the right reason and with the right attitude but that is left unsaid.

The point here is that is not enough to just do the right thing because an action does not speak to devoutness of character. Any one can do the right thing once in a while but the commitment to do the next right thing every time does require a commitment. Such commitment requires a positive action and not a negative reaction because negativity does not regenerate it self to do right. If you have to do something, anything it will seem to be drudgery, a burden , a waste of time. If you WANT to do something the opportunity brings pleasure, satisfaction and even gratitude for the opportunity. Wisdom, then, becomes a routine and not just a momentary achievement.

Seeking wisdom can offer us the glimpses into the next world which will reward our efforts and reaffirm our sure and certain knowledge of life in the next world where only joy exists because of a complete devotion to doing what is right.

24. The eye through which you see God is the same eye through which God sees you.

“The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God’s eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.” ~ Meister Eckhart

The imagery here is so powerful and so moving, the description of unity so hopeful and reassuring. It is also unsettling. When my eye is focused on creation, on things of beauty and purpose, I am pleased there is but one eye between us. There other times, many other times when my eye is not so focused.

I may be looking on things which I perceived to be material value, things that would provide fleeting pleasure but which also might simply be against his teachings and a temptation to sin or simply divert my attention from where I should be fully engaged.

There is no doubt of the truth of this. The eye through which we see God connects not only to the brain but to the soul as well. The soul is where God is so he instantly knows at our core what our sees, where our attention devoted and from there where our intentions lie.

One eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love. If only we could keep blinking much less looking away in an act of separation.

23. The best name for God is compassion.

“You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Eckhart has a genuine ability to simple take a half step to the side and then offer a totally new perspective on a familiar theme. For my entire life God has been presented as being all about love and goodness. These are characteristics which certainly describe. Indeed, Eckhart himself the best way for us to know God is through his love for us. His love, however is not passive. It is active, ongoing and ever present in how lives yet Eckhart says our best name for him is compassion.

Curious. As I sit and dwell on how his love has been bestowed on me the most apt to description is that he embraces us and he does so with compassion. We are in a world where freedom of choice can bring us good things and bad, pleasure and pain, happiness or sadness and love, sorrow and grief. He celebrates our happiness and our good times with us be we have to struggle to share those times with him because we tend to be caught up in the moment. He loves to go with us wherever we go, in my case, fishing, hunting, hiking, church, work and countless other places. He is there at those time but he is closest to us when we are in a state of loss. That is when his goodness shines through. He brings to us compassion regardless of our needs. He can't promise us sunny days or good health but he can promise us he can be there for when we need him.

I find it interesting he did not use friendship as a name for God. To me it seems more encompassing of the all aspects of human life. He is with us always and is with us a friend with him we can share the exigencies of life. Compassion is but one of the gifts he offers us through his friendship with us. Perhaps compassion is the most important aspect of our relationship with him because we need his encouragement, support and kindness to get up and get moving again in the face of adversity.

I don't intent to disagree with Eckhart, only to question how what he says fits for me or if I need another cloak to describe my relationship with him.

22. God is always at home.

“Between God and Me there is no ‘Between’.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God. God is nearer to me than I am to myself; my existence depends on the nearness and the presence of God.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“God is at home, it’s we who have gone out for a walk.” ~ Meister Eckhart

There are three beautiful excerpts here that support the premise God is always home, one is humorous, one is simple but deep and the third profound.

The first one is the simplest. To say there is nothing between us and God is to recognize a transcendent God is everywhere and that includes within us. He inhabits my soul and that has to mean he is the core of my being. He not only created me but he sustains my existence. As I reflect on this notion, I am alternately comforted and discomforted. It is, at the end of the pondering, a comfort to know God is always with me. Always. Until the end of time. There is hope in this knowledge, there is the promise of a reward, a justification of my existence and being.

The discomfort is knowing he knows all, everything, all the time. Given my humanity, I never perfect in thoughts, words or deeds. Well, maybe sometimes I actually have some good moments but as a rule, un-holiness dominates holiness. There is no hiding it, ignoring it or wishing all the bad out of existence.

The second quote leads us to the first. The nearness of God and His critical presence is so near there is no separation. God wishes to bring us into himself and give everything he has to us. The boundaries that separate us a temporary and illusory. The kingdom of God is not out there somewhere. It is within each of us.

This leads to the last quote. How true. When we think we have been abandoned we really miss the point. It is us who have turned away from his presence so we can't see it but he remains present, within and without. When we ignore him we ignore our true self which leaves bereft of hope and purpose. God is always home. He is at home in us whether we see him or recognize him or not.

21. To be empty of things is to be full of God.

“To be full of things is to be empty of God. To be empty of things is to be full of God.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“Whoever wants to receive everything must also renounce everything. That is a fair bargain and an equal return … Therefore, because God wants to give us himself and all things as out own free possessions, so he wants to deprive us, utterly and completely, of all possessiveness.” ~Meister Eckhart

I struggle with really grasping this idea. It is as if there is no room for anything else in our souls except God. In reality, to be empty is more conceptual than literal. We are human and we have in a world in which we have exist. We need food, shelter, clothing, companion ship and whole long list of things which we really can't just ignore. I don't think Eckhart is truly saying we should just withdraw and sit around all day expiating. There are very few of who would have the luxury of doing so rising great harm. Indeed just yesterday I reflected on the need to engage the world in order to allow Christ to bring us into his peace sustained by love, grace and mercy.

So what does he mean by empty? Perhaps it means we should not mistake wants for needs. Do I need to have a collection of fly rods, fishing gear, firearms and firearm accessories simply because they bring me pleasure? Surely I don't need them in any sense but finding pleasure can be an overpowering and intoxicating addiction which pulls me into an unbalanced relationship with material things.

Finding God requires us to be empty of being dominated by our possessions. I am feel like the young man in the scripture who when told by Jesus that he must give away all he owns simply went away sad because he had many things. To think about the need to give away all of my belongings gives me pause and fills me with the angst. I like my things. I worked hard to buy them. Fair enough but are they keeping me from being bound to my creator, an entity with whom I have more of an abstract relationship than one of defined reality? Yes.

Now what? Coming to grips with that fact is the first step. Now it has to take root so I can move toward renouncing things of this world to find God and experience his love.

20. Spirituality is not to be learned by running away from things.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

“Spirituality is not to be learned by flight from the world, or by running away from things, or by turning solitary and going apart from the world. Rather, we must learn an inner solitude wherever or with whomsoever we may be. We must learn to penetrate things and find God there.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This also builds on my earlier thoughts about having a peaceful heart. There is no merit to mistaking the calm that might grow out of avoiding the world for true peace which comes from facing the world and being able to allow trust in God. If we push through fear, anger or what ever negative emotion we might be feeling we can open ourselves up to the power of God.

If we avoid the world and hide from it, we hide ourselves from the face of God. He can see us and he sees us always but we can't see him if we avoid him through rejection of his created world no matter where we might be in the world. Eckhart says we must penetrate things to find God. What are those things? They are things our ego constructs in an ill-fated effort to protects. The need to control. The desire to avoid negativity and controversy. The bruising we take which creates a sense humility and all of these things defeat what inkling of hope we might hold.

There is also another clear indictment of our wish to find peace and to find God by separating ourselves from God, to seek those thin places the Irish love to embrace because we believe we can find solace there. Solace might be healing and allow us to more quickly let go of things that distract us but we can not allow be overly reliant on exterior solitude because it is so often not available to us. We cannot just withdraw when we need to turn within to find God.

My brushes with Benedictine spirituality remind me that there is a great importance for being in one place, to be stable and not inclined to move from one place to another in a search for peace because true peace is not out there somewhere but is in here, inside us in the soul.

It often seems prudent to turn away, to hide and be out of the light but the comfort is illusory and temporary. The trouble remains and holds power of us it as long as it give it the authority to do so. Only when we connect with God can we find peace.

19. One person who has mastered life is better than a thousand persons who have mastered only the contents of books.

Friday, October 19, 2018

“One person who has mastered life is better than a thousand persons who have mastered only the contents of books, but no one can get anything out of life without God.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This is truly fascinating to hear from a medieval period mystic because what is offered is truly profound and practical. We are instructed that actual experience is far more valuable than theoretical knowledge acquired but not tested under the fire of daily life.

This is a theme which reoccurs time and time again through his teachings. Instead of studying how to prayer and never actually taking the time to pray, just skip to the basics and pray. We can learn more by doing than reading. We experience growth from actual results rather than just building a block of information which may or may not be of practical value.

In this instance, if asked I would have to confess I tend more toward learning than doing even after piling up a lifetime of experience. For me, learning is the easy part. I sit back and let my mind bounce from topic to topic and from source to source. I must embrace the fact I can't think or learn my way to the kind of deep relationship I desire with God. Once I get some basic tools, I am called to use them. To pray. To sink into the darkness, not of oblivion, but, rather into place where darkness does not represent an end of all things but the beginning of knowing God is unknowable in all ways and in all things save one, love. Richard Rohr says, and I am sure he did not say it first, that the only way for us to know God is to know his love.

This love should empower me to pray and to remember to simply talk with him. He knows what I have that needs to be said. I know I need to say it but I don't know all that I need to say because much lies buried within.

When I first started with contemplation I quickly hit a road block. At first, the more I practiced and prayed the more comfort I experienced but then something else began to happen, something I did not know to expect. As my inner soul became more comfortable, it gained the courage to open up long forgotten and deeply buried boxes of secrets. Where there was once comfort, I found great pain as found myself having to confront the myriad of broken relationships damaged by my ego's relentless drive to feed itself. I had done wrong to others. I was still doing wrong to others. I felt myself to be wronged but the hurts I felt seemed to be justified because of sinful and unholy nature. I deserved the pain I felt. I was certain I earned it.

The enormity of it all darkened my countenance and destroyed my self confidence. I fell into depression and nearly tailed all the way into helplessness.

I have emerged and I feel have been treading water aimlessly for most of the past two years. That is not true. I have done much work. I have began to see the my personal worth from the perspective of service using my yet clumsy and poorly developed charisms.

Yes I need to still study so I can have some perspective on where to travel, what to look forward and how to process the experiences I encounter to support my comfort with the death of self and the new life which will follow in the cloud of unknowing where the only thing I know is the presence and love of God.

18. All God wants of you is a peaceful heart.

All God wants of man is a peaceful heart.” ~ Meister Eckhart
Gee, that sounds easy enough. Just be peaceful. We don't have to be good, smart, giving, holy,  or even willing to do the dishes without being reminded or asked.

I can do that. All I have to do chill.

The trouble is that if I think about this for a second I can just about hear and decent spiritual director spitting and sputtering in surprise I could be so off the mark. There just might be a little involved than what we see at first.

This peace is not just about being calm because calmness is really the result of the effort to seek the peace of Christ and not just existing in a place of calm. A peaceful heart is one what has engaged in a relentless search for the creator. When we reach the point in that search where we begin to understand what we can embrace in this life, we can simply relax and learn to trust in God, really trust in him. That means to we choose to trust and not just try to ignore the issues of life bubbling all around us. We are not to turn a so called blind eye toward troubles and concerns but keep them in full view and choose to be a peace.

This is not easy and it is not the first choice our egos would have us make because our nature to is to act, to control or to fix things that may beyond our ability to impact. I cannot make important decisions for my children. I can't will my mother to full health. I cannot fix my wife's work place woes. I can choose to let the will of God be expressed and to be open to what his will for might be in any given situation.

So why is God so insistent we have a peaceful heart? After all if he is all-powerful, why does he need us be a certain why? The answer is based in our basic freedom of choice, our gift of free will. Just like it is easier for us to ride a horse that is calm rather than one that is out of control, it is easier for God to influence our lives. More accurately, we have to elect to be willing to embrace his plan and to be willing requires us to be at peace with letting God be in charge.



Once we find peace, all other things become possible in him.

17. The most significant person is precisely the one sitting across from you right now.

The most important hour is always the present. The most significant person is precisely the one sitting across from you right now. The most necessary work is always love.” ~ Meister Eckhart
Talk about another principle for good living. Here are three inalienable statements of fact. Now is always the most important time. As discussed in earlier days, now is the time we can influence. We are taught what to do – turn toward God, seek God, be with God, honor God, do as God would have do. The last hour is too late and the next hour is not here yet and the barriers that could rise up between now and then are uncountable and unpredictable. Choose now, just as I chose this instant to reflect on Eckhart in the hopes he would lead me to seek God.

The most significant person is the one sitting across from you now. Most of the time that would be my wife. That is how it should be. She is the most important person in life. No one else is close. My children are of vital importance and from them importance radiates out to the rest of my family and from there to my friends.

That is not what Eckhart is referring to, however, the most important person over all is not the most important person at any given moment. When I am with a friend who is pain, the person is deserving and entitled to everything I have to offer. The same is true of any patient I call on as a chaplain or family member who has my attention. Each person is a creation of God and is just beautiful and worthy as I am. I should expect the same focus and attention in return and often I feel little jealous if I don’t get it. That is another question to be discussed another time. The question to focus on now is the person across from me. After all, doesn’t God offer us his love in the same fashion? There is no way to even begin to question how God can do that but, after all, he is God and that is what God is all about.

The most important work is Love. Yup. No doubt that is the truest of statements. Our pursuit of God, everything we have considered thus far in our 17 days of reflection points to that fact. It is all about love. Always.

I make a point of telling men and women I love them simply because I wish to love as God loves. There is no issue beyond the love God has for us that brought him to offer us his son, the love he asks of us and the greatest commandment he has given us. We are to love one another as love ourselves. The most important work is love.

16. Life lives without asking why it is itself living.

“If anyone went on for a thousand years asking of life: ‘Why are you living?’ life, if it could answer, would only say, ‘I live so that I may live.’ That is because life lives out of its own ground and springs from its own source, and so it lives without asking why it is itself living.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This is a mindblower. I struggle to link this to what I have come to understand about Eckhart. I have little to offer. Life lives because of God who created and creates lives. Once brought forth, life lives and lives and lives on and on and will continue to exist until God were to choose either. Given the covenant he has promised us, this can’t happen. What will happen is life will evolve from what we understand now and become something we can’t foresee even in the smallest measures.

The issue is not that live continues of its own initiative but is rather who life exists for, God.

15. Let God be God in you.

““God expects but one thing of you, and that is that you should come out of yourself in so far as you are a created being made and let God be God in you.” ~ Meister Eckhart

God created each of us and each of us are created to be different from one another. There is no reason to try to be something or someone other than who we are, we must be authentic because that is the true beauty of creation. We are each unique and there is beauty in our uniqueness.

Psalm 139 comes up again. We are wonderfully made. We are called to rejoice in that fact and let the fact rule our lives. If we let God be God in us, we will reflect the wonderfulness of his world. The first step any of us can make is to celebrate creation and celebrate our own creation while remaining totally aware of our need to find humility and in our humility give him all due credit for the beauty which we adore.

We are created by God to know and give love. That is how we let God be God within us.

14. The outward work will never be puny if the inward work is great.

“The outward work will never be puny if the inward work is great.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This is a puzzling thought. As one who has been accused of over-thinking matters, there is a clear inference, actually bold declaration I can delay action by considering things excessively which leads to complication rather than simplification. Here there would seem to be emphasis on the consideration and contemplation phase beyond what we are commonly taught.

As I consider the statement, the quality and type of work is far more important than the amount of work. If our inward work is directed toward minimization of ourselves, our egos, our desires and wants, we create more room for God to work in our lives. We if focus on God and discerning and carrying out God’s will rather than our own, our results will reflect that effort. Great works are those works which reflect the carrying out of God’s will.

This is part of the consistent story Eckhart tells us over and over again, the lesson we first heard in the New Testament from John the Baptist. He said he (John) must decrease so that Jesus could increase. We also must decrease so that Jesus can increase in us and the great the increase in us will make the works we do greater if they give glory to God.

As said by Terentius Afer in the 1483 book, Vulgaria Terentii, and was worded in the language of the day as: “It is easyer to saye than to do.”

13. Thank you is the best prayer.

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough. Meister Eckhart
Praise, petition and gratitude. For me prayer has three legs but the first and most important leg is gratitude. He does not need praise, but we need to give it to him so that we can make sure we oriented toward him.

Petitions are important because we can define our needs and, in the process, understand them and how they relate to service of him, but he knows our needs before we can voice them, even before we discover them. We ask for our own sake, for clarity, if for no other reason. Gratitude fills the other gaps.

We praise because we are grateful.

We raise our petitions up and we are grateful he acknowledges them.

We thank him because we need to comprehend the bountiful blessings, mercies and graces he offers us.

As the Father says in the prodigal son, everything he has is ours. Thank you is enough. He does not need to hear it, but we need to say it. Every time we offer thanks we increase our ability to know the true meaning of happiness and joy. 

We cannot say thanks without it reaping us rewards.

12. To the quiet mind, all things are possible.

“To the quiet mind all things are possible. What is a quiet mind? A quiet mind is one which nothing weighs on, nothing worries, which, free from ties and from all self-seeking, is wholly merged into the will of God and dead to its own.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“The quieter the mind, the more powerful, the worthier, the deeper, the more telling and more perfect the prayer is. Meister Eckhart
“God reduces to nothing that which he will use for his purpose” popped up in a Grapevine story we ready at an AA meeting this morning. Is a quiet mind one which has been reduced to nothing? Is there were the quiet mind where all things are possible found. Perhaps. Quiet comes from reducing noise internally and reducing distraction which simply our ability focus. Clarity comes to me not when agitated but when I am able to step to the side and casually observe the agitation as if it is happening to someone else unknown to me.

I don’t really believe a quiet mind that is wholly merged into God is possible for a living human. A peaceful mind as described by Eckhart is an elusive goal because it depicts a perfect state of completion. We can, at times, experience peace or something close but it is ephemeral like a wispy morning mist. Here one minute and gone the next. We pursue peace. We practice how to seek it. We take steps to create a place where we can find it but it remains just out of reach like a slippery fruit we can't quite grab.

I imagine what prayer of Jesus would have been like. Perfect, I should think, comfortable and uncomplicated because he was wholly merged into the will of God. I marvel at what it would have looked like to observe. Sometime I like to watch people pray. Several weeks I ago I happened to see Monsignor O'Neill praying silently before the tabernacle. He was totally relaxed but sat perfectly erect as though he had completely drawn within himself. I felt great peace just watching him pray and felt some envy he could just let if flow. Of course he has a lifetime of experience so he should be able to make it look easy. My wife can do it as well.

I am, well, a work in progress. Peace is out there and I can sense it at times.

11. God is with you everywhere.

“Some people prefer solitude. They say their peace of mind depends on this. Others say they would be better off in church. If you do well, you do well wherever you are. If you fail, you fail wherever you are. Your surroundings don’t matter. God is with you everywhere — in the market place as well as in seclusion or in the church. If you look for nothing but God, nothing or no one can disturb you. God is not distracted by a multitude of things. Nor can we be.” ~ Meister Eckhart
In his retreat on Meister Eckhart James Finley used a metaphor about a tree to make this point. He said if we could know everything there is to know about a tree we would never need to go church again because if we reached that point, we would be as if we were God because only God can grasp that much knowledge. This statement hits me right at the core. I am so deeply drawn, of late, to silence and solitude I feel as thought I am not capable of being contemplative anywhere else.

Yesterday, I challenged that concept by beginning to seek a path into myself while sitting in a waiting room at a doctor’s office surrounded by all manner of distractions and then again while driving home from Great Falls, admittedly alone. Today I pursue the matter further by addressing matters of reflection while surrounded by an anthill of activity at work. While I am not as a effective at formulating my thoughts while tuning out the buzzing around me, I am actually getting there and it is clear that with more practice I will be even more adept at creating my own space of silence in a horn of noise.

God is with me everywhere. I am reminded of that particularly today as encounter people whom I value who are hurting and for whom I wish to be of service. God is not just in the thin places were I can presume to be able to think deep thoughts and reach lofty points of understanding but right where I am, wherever I am and whomever I am with at any point of time.

10. You should not worry as much about what you do but rather about what you are.

People should not worry as much about what they do but rather about what they are. If they and their ways are good, then their deeds are radiant. If you are righteous, then what you do will also be righteous. We should not think that holiness is based on what we do but rather on what we are, for it is not our works which sanctify us but we who sanctify our works. Meister Eckhart
How curious. We always read and are taught the maxim that we say matters less than what we do because people watch our actions are far more intently than they the listen to our words. We also are taught that what we do defines who we are. This turns the whole premise around. If we are righteous, what we do will be righteous because holiness flows from holiness and goodness flows goodness.

This is backwards from what I believe. We are not righteous or holy in any sense of completeness because of our humanity. We are works of progress toward those goals but only if we make a daily choice to do so. When we learn to speak with holiness and act in a holy manner we come closer to what we desire but we will never be purely righteous until our imperfections are burned away by salvation.

There is however a recollection that differs from my argument. I read in a description of the ordained role of deacon is that ordination means the role is more about who a deacon is than what a deacon does. They represent a literal association with other deacons throughout history. It job that is not just about ministry here and now but through all time.

I need to reflect more on what Eckhart suggests in the quote. A priest is a priest always and not just when he is wearing a collar or vestments. Can I be righteous at all times or only when act that way?

When I serve as a chaplain I do so as a Catholic and a Christian. My services are motivated by a desire to serve him and what offer others is care, comfort and consolation that grows out of my faith and desire to serve. From that perspective my Christianity may very well sanctify my works. There is no doubt in my mind that trying to fill the shoes Eckhart has made for us is a very tall task but one worthy of effort.

9. Go into your own heart and learn to know yourself there.

“A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don’t know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox’s or bear’s, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.” ~ Meister Eckhart
This teaching shows up in the philosophy of John O'Donohue. We don't know ourselves but more importantly, we deeply desire to hold the knowledge of the self but we do everything we can to avoid learning precisely that. Why? Fear is likely the first and best reason yet I can't make the connection in confidence. Why? Almost certainly it is because of fear.

We each have our own reasons why we are afraid because we all have our own stories, experiences and characteristics. I am afraid because I might find, when all of the skins are peeled away, an insecure little boy who has not earned any of the things of value I have gathered over the span of lifetime. Once uncovered, all of those good things will vanish like smoke from a small fire and I would be left alone, bereft but perhaps a touch relieved the charade has finally ended.

Such fear is not rational. It does not line up with the faith I have hoped to have grown through conscious effort and unseen blessings which flowed to through mercy and grace. Rational thoughts are scarce, however, when things go bump in the night. Eckhart is right, however, we are expected to go into our own ground and learn what we can about our own essence.

This is the heart of contemplation, to learn the nature of things and contemplation is the tool of mystics to undertake voyages of self-discovery. We contemplate to study and we study to learn and what we learn is all about our uniqueness. At the end, we have been promised we will learn our uniqueness comes from being a creation of God. Ultimately, that is what study is all about - to learn who we are, what we are, why we exist and who created us. Why? So he can love us and we can love him.

Pray Psalm 139. He knows us. There is nothing to fear.

8. It is in the darkness that one finds the light.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Truly, it is in darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us.” ~ Meister Eckhart

The imagery of light and dark reaches back to the beginning in the story of creation in Genesis:

Then God said: Let there be light, and there was light.c 4God saw that the light was good. God then separated the light from the darkness.
From <http://www.usccb.org/bible/genesis/1>

From the earliest days of our faith, understanding God wanted us to live in the light and to seek him in the light has been our bedrock. Avoiding the dark is a running through scripture from the Hebrew Testament into the Christian Testament. The symbolism of light overcoming darkness is so powerful throughout the Gospels in the letters of Paul.

Eckhart truly understands that in order grow spirituality we must know and experience darkness. When times are good, we get complacent and this unwinds our motivation to seek God. It is easy to forget our existence is separated into light and darkness and without one the other has no meaning.

I like to think I am praise and gratitude driven creature. I hope I am one who appreciates what has given me and the beauty of the world around me. I would like to avoid the sadness and pain that is a hallmark of being lost in darkness but, alas, as a human I must experience the darkness.

Over the years I have been taught that rather than shout and curse at the darkness I should, instead, ask what I am supposed to learn from of it. What lesson or outcome should I seek that will literally shine down on my path toward living according to his will?

On a grand day like this it is to look around and relish in creation and feel like everything will always be great. It is not reality. Reality is remembering my uncle is deeply grieving the loss of his partner and mother is also suffering from the pain of Hawn's passing along with an ongoing battle with debilitating anxiety. I also am mourning the loss of Hawn who was a larger than life presence in our family. The darkness creeps in and shadows fall across the day.

Time in darkness has given me tools to put perspective on sadness and loss, tools which are gifts of the holy spirit delivered by grace from a merciful God who understands the human condition far more than we can begin to grasp.

Paul wrote to church in Corinth about relieved from troubles but the response from God he related was that God's grace was sufficient because his power his made perfect in weakness. Without darkness, there would be no way to experience our humanity, no reason to search for a purpose in life that is only answered by understanding God's purpose for us. There would be no way to give perspective to seeing the power of Christ on the cross as the deliverance of salvation.

7. Attitude is everything.

“When you are thwarted, it is your own attitude that is out of order.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Over the past 10 years the tenet of the 12 steps most difficult for me to grasp is when I am upset or angry fault lies with me regardless of the cause of my distress, regardless of ANY other cause. This is so difficult to bear because self righteous anger at being wronged can be so delicious.

Having the opportunity to blame someone, or something else, for causing a problem is appealing because it gives me permission to yield to high emotion and not have either the initial wrong or the my response. The problem is, however, by letting the genie of innocent outrage loose it is far too easy to for things get out of hand once anger gets burning. The flames will consume far more and roar far longer than the initial harm would warrant.

Far too often the lasting outcome is damage caused by runaway anger is far greater than anything that might have be done to begin with. The focus shifts from it should lie -  the need to recognize harm and to forgive the harm so reconciliation and restoration of a relationship harmed by any insult or injury

My past is littered with instances where someone has committed an error, perhaps something seemingly consequential or, perhaps, something far more serious. Rather dealing with the event with any sense of grace or mercy, it is far to easy for me to confuse accountability with over the top haranguing that spilled over into the terrible territory of abuse. The first hurt is forgotten but the second harm is long remembered. Any moral authority I might have held is lost, drowned in sea of self protective rage.

Bill  Wilson did not coin the phrase from the fertile ground of his mind, instead he paraphrased an 800 year truism and made it suddenly relevant. Eckhart was a astute observer of the dangers of a damaged ego running a muck, much more  than would seem a possible from a time so different than today. Ego is dangerous thing which has both motivated and distracted centuries of success and failure.

For spiritual growth to happen, adversity must be used as an opportunity to learn patience, acceptance and humility. If our Lord can be tortured and then hanged from a cross, surely I can bear the injustice of someone cutting me off in traffic.

Attitude is the key. Not just from an emotional standpoint but directional as well.  Our attitude should be positive and focused on our relationship with God. The proper positive attitude provides us with resilience against adversity and enables to rely on God rather than on our own desires, wishes or perceived needs.

During my time as a chaplain the one thing evident from when I first peered into the room was attitude. The patient could be recovered and waiting for discharge or failing toward inevitable passing but his or attitude defined the true state of their being. I experienced both extremes. Recovered people who were totally dejected and just oozed negativity but also patients with a grim diagnosis who would soon be dying with a bright demeanor and cheerful countenance . Attitude I quickly discovered was largely a function of faith. Where faith was strong, the outlook was shiny and positive. Where faith was missing there was little to suggest hope for a future.

Attitude is fueled and driven by faith. Reliance on faith was critical toward a positive outlook. It is also a choice we can make, or not. It is up to each to of us every moment of every day to make the right choice.

6. The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.

Saturday, October 6, 2018
11:33 AM

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.” Meister Eckhart

Over the course of my life I have come to believe and often say, from a vantage point of some cynicism, is that the most consequential decisions we make are ones we make by not deciding. I can recall many times when I pondered a course of action but then ultimately did nothing and the thus let the course of my life continue with alteration. Such ponderings left unresolved have had both positive and negative repercussions. For example, the decision to leave the business world and move toward academia that I left unmade causes me to wince sometimes, usually when my ego wants to punch myself in the nose for paths not traveled.

Looking back from the perspective of age, I see that my inaction was usually the result of poorly completed discernment. To get to the point, I engaged in some pretty surprising practical atheism by doing all of the pondering based upon my own thoughts and desires without involving God. How could what I try to do alone work out? I think my successes have been accidental - I simply lucked into making a plan that was consistent with what God wanted for me. I ended up a great wife and family. I have a good quality of life. I have material resources far greater than what my needs should ever require. Luck, of course, is nothing more than mercy delivered by grace. There is also the perspective God caused me to provide for my family because of the faith of my wife and her love of our sons. She was blessed by what I could provide in a material fashion. As for the spiritual and emotional support they also needed? Well, that is a different matter.

That is the past but Meister instructs us to consider the present, the now of life. What inaction no will be more costly than a mistake? I think back to an earlier day. What would I do if I was most secure? My musing that day would be to somehow define myself to the world. A grand posting on Facebook is what I was considering but did not take happen. Was it the example of not taking an action or was it a good decision that really was an appropriate action to not venture forth? I don't yet have an answer to the question but what if I what believe and celebrate is not already self evident by how I live, what value is there is in a making a declaration? Who we are is far more powerful than what we say.

I again find it curious such an ancient premise is so relevant today. Of course, we tend to think of it from a business or military perspective. Doing something even if it is wrong is better regarded than doing nothing. From a spiritual and religious perspective, the application is far less discernible. It seems that when charting a course of action, doing something will always have value whereas doing nothing always has a cost so the mistake is choosing to do nothing.

Again, I will have to consider today's topic further.

5. There is no yesterday nor any tomorrow, but only Now.

Friday, October 5, 2018
9:10 AM

“The now wherein God made the world is as near this time as the now I am speaking in this moment, and the last day is as near this now as was yesterday.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“There exists only the present instant… a Now which always and without end is itself new. There is no yesterday nor any tomorrow, but only Now, as it was a thousand years ago and as it will be a thousand years hence.” ~ Meister Eckhart

Now that I am 5 days into this project, it strikes me that Eckhart's observations, made over 800 years ago, are so relevant now and how commonly we encounter his teachings. This statement is particularly pertinent because I get easily caught up in what happened yesterday or worry about what might happen tomorrow. Both the past and the future are beyond the scope of my being. They only exist for God because God is not limited by our concept of time.

As a historian by training, intellect and preference, the past is critically important. Understanding the past gives us tools to understand the present so we might adapt and maximize the effectiveness of our course of action but tools are just tools. They, the tools, lack the cognitive power needed to make the moment count. The future is also important because failure to anticipate consequences of actions taken now can adversely impact the future. We ignore either or both at our peril.

What is important, however is to truly understand there is only the present instant. In this instant I can take the time to reflect on where I am, who I am with, how I am spending the moment. In this very instant I can contemplate, meditate, watch the cat play with a toy, speak to my wife or simply look at the window into the little piece of the world I inhabit. Today, gentle rain is falling in a spattering drizzle, the leaves of the trees have erupted in shimmering explosion of gold and yellow that gray skies cannot not diminish. It is a good moment to pause and appreciate creation and give thanks to the creator.

Now is when I can chose to the best right action. I can give praise and celebrate the blessings and mercy of God or I can turn away and dwell on the pain I am experiencing. I can ask for forgiveness for where I have fallen short and then breathe out the prayer of gratitude for the gift of God's mercy and tenderness.

Carpe Diem is a great platitude but to seize the moment, not the day, is what Eckhart teaches. The lesson is important, it is what I have searching for so far. It lines up with spirituality of the Benedict - give this moment its due with moderation and in praise.

Back to view out the window. God is awesome for giving us a beautiful world and the ability to appreciate the beauty.

4. “The soul does not grow by addition but by subtraction.”

The soul does not grow by addition but by subtraction.” ~ Meister Eckhart

This one is a puzzler because it seems to be counter intuitive. How can something grow by becoming less? The answer lies in understanding the significance of letting go. The more we hang onto non-spiritual, worldly matters, the less capacity we have for holiness. We must winnow out the non-essential so there is growing room for spirituality to be nourished and take root.

When I take stock of everything I think about everyday, I am astounded. The roar of daily living is truly stunning. From the first waking moment, I listening to the weather, thinking about all of the events planned for the day, thinking about what happened the day before. I read books and other material and have hobbies I enjoy that draw my attention and energy. I find it difficult to carve out 10 minutes a couple times a day to pray the hours.

Even in a good day, I devote only a couple of hours toward my relationship with God and even that is tacking down the corners of a much larger construct. If it is true, I must let go of more and more to subtract more and more of the distractions, and I believe it is, how do I go about it?

I think about the monks of Mount Angel. They have a consecrated life but even they have to contend with the work needed for the Abbey to function. Other than being a hermit or recluse, there is no feasible way to reach the goal set by Eckhart. Given the full life he lived himself, I question how much time he spent letting go. No doubt he was extremely adept at minimizing life but he also had choices to make.

If I consider 8 hours go to work and 8 hours go toward sleep, there are 8 hours a day for everything else. When I start subtracting necessary time spent preparing food and eating, time just keeps slipping away until weariness overcomes motivation and I give up for the day only to start over again.

There is another aspect to look at - the time spent in what I call holy study. This would include the reading I do about Church history, dogma, theology, social teaching and so on. I am learning more and more about more and more that I sometimes wonder if expanding in all directions at all times, even with the narrow focus of my faith journey is simply being wasted when I really need to focus on a much smaller target. My friend Janeen constantly reminds me I over think just about everything and it is not productive. My wife, would agree with her but after 40 years she learned to approach me from a different way. She doesn't tell when I am overthinking, she usually just says what she believes and I am left to ponder how she could so many different places before me.

The conclusion has to be the more I study Eckhart, the more I will know and perhaps understand about less. My curious, undisciplined mind will lead me off in myriad of directions as will happen to young dog who knows nothing other than to follow where ever his nose leads him regardless of the need for pursuit.

3. Let go and let be

“For the person who has learned to let go and let be, nothing can ever get in the way again.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“He who would be serene and pure needs but one thing, detachment.” ~ Meister Eckhart

“The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they’re not punishing you, they’re freeing your soul. If you’re frightened of dying and you’re holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. If you’ve made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.” ~ Meister Eckhart

"Let go and let God" means the same thing as to "let go and let be". It sounds so simple and so easy. Simple yes. Easy no. Oh, heck no. Letting go means just that - to let go. There is more to consider. Way more.

 First, what does letting go entail? It means giving up control. Actually it means giving up the illusion of control. Really, the only I can control is the temperature of my coffee before I sip it. We are expected to control our reactions to events and circumstances but that is actually a big deal when we have spent a lifetime doing the opposite. As it is said, we are not responsible for our first thought be we are responsible for our second thought and first action. That does not mean we can control anything beyond that first action.

 We can look at this from a couple of different perspectives. The inclination to not let go is really an act of practical atheism to not rely on God no matter what we say we believe. It goes like this, "That's ok, God, I have got this one. I don't need any help for this." That is what I say just before the wreck. To truly let go is to invite God into my daily life and to move toward aligning my plans with his plans for me as he would have us all do. I can sometimes tell when I am actually doing his will when focus on most benefits from my actions, myself or others.

There is a second perspective that is more in line with Eckhart's teachings. His focus is on what clutters and complicates our lives and prevents us from being in communion with God. The more we focus on human things which matter little the less we can focus on the issues of greater, perhaps, even ultimate concern. We busy ourselves about as Quoheleth points out in Ecclesiastes but we do so at our folly. Detachment from earthly things is how we grow closer to God. Time and time again Eckhart makes the point we should become less and less so that God and our relationship with him will become more and more present in our lives.

2. Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure.
Tuesday, October 2, 2018
Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure.” ~ Meister Eckhart
What rushes into my mind is I would not, even if was just for a day, soft pedal or minimize my true feelings about key issues of faith. I would clearly state, loudly and without reservation, that I believe in the dignity of all human life, born or unborn, from conception to natural death. This is so critical I will never vote for any candidate for any office who does not support that teaching. There is no room for being complicit in the ending of any human life and that includes the death penalty.

I believe our society needs to focus on human dignity so that issues of life are never decided because of economic or financial pressures either before or after birth. I also believe that those who are sick, disabled or simply aged be provided with adequate housing and care so that financial pressures never play a part in end of life discussions. We must lead with compassion and follow up with passion for living out the gospel.

I would also state clearly and definitively that I believe in the Gospel of the Risen Lord and in a transcendent and triune God who is all powerful and the very definition of love. I would proclaim this to the world in the most powerful and attractive message I can muster given my human frailties.

I believe in life after death and forgiveness of sins no matter how heavy or grievous. I know that I am loved without limit or reservation as is every human who has ever lived or will ever live.

I would also to communicate it is not my privilege or responsibility to judge anyone other than myself for any reason and I hope I have not intentionally or intentionally done so but if I have, I humbly ask for forgiveness and for an opportunity to make amends.

I believe it is a scandal there is deep division in the Christian Church and I pray we will see a day when what separates us fades away and we can focus on what we hold in common to better bind us together as unified body of Christ.

I believe that my church, our church, the Roman Catholic Church has allowed itself to be battered and bruised by sin compounded by the sin of a cover-up on a systemic basis that leaves me sickened, saddened and enraged. How can we claim to be a source of moral teaching with the stains of abuse darkening our message? We must reclaim what has been lost and it is not just up to the Bishops. It is up to us the laity to make the changes. There can be no more dark secrets without any kind of transparent investigation and management. 

We need to throw open the doors and windows and let us into our church and let us help bring about the change that will be based upon a fundamental focus on the gospel of evangelization and conversion. When civil war tore our country apart, we fought to restore unity. When civilization was nearly destroyed by the evils at work in WW2, we fought back and saved our way of live. Our church is worth fighting for as well. Where else can we find the sacraments that are essential to our Christian souls?

Now comes the need for reflection. Why don’t I feel secure enough to speak as I have proposed here? What stops me? Is the fear of offending others? Perhaps but I have to wonder if what I would publish be would be a surprise since I make a genuine effort to live as I believe?

This is not a question I have a ready answer for at the moment. I can’t decide if it is fear or discretion that holds me back. More prayer is needed for sure but I can’t help but hear the words of my friend and devout Christian, Richard Yetter who states with conviction that if it comes to a choice between offending a person or offending God, the decision is simple. I definitely need more prayer and meditation and I hope that going through the daily reflections will bring some clarity

1. Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.

Monday, October 1, 2018
6:21 PM

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” ~ Meister Eckhart

How can this be his recommendation? He obviously does not know I have spent years studying scripture, theology, engaging in Lectio Divina and scriptural reflection. What is the point of this journey if you never get anywhere? Aren't we supposed to progress each and every day through thought, study, prayer and application? I have a reputation I want to enjoy. How can I when I am supposed to be willing to be a beginner every morning?

Eckhart gets right to the heart of the problem. I want to be more but he teaches the importance of being less. My ego is wounded by being called a beginner. I have worked too hard too start over again once much less everyday.

As I reflect further I understand I am only being asked to be a beginner and not to start over. What it really means is to be willing begin again every day, to be open whatever new experiences, insight or events might come my way that day.

Since I am an alcoholic, I know the importance of taking each day one at time. That is all we really have - only today. I can decide today to not drink but I can't decide it for every coming day in advance. Like Joshua, I can only chose to serve the Lord today. It is a decision to be made everyday. And I do. Some days I am a better servant than others but that is good part of the promise. Tomorrow I can do better.

It is principle of Benedictine spirituality that each day we begin again. It does not mean we go back. It just means we start again from where we are that day and to go from there. To begin again is to make ourselves open to see what God has created or what he has in mind for me.

It means that I can be suddenly reminded of the intense flush of color of the clumps of berries on the Mountain Ash in our yard. I can learn something new from someone in my life whom I value. I can offer something new of myself to others as well. Today I can see the brightening color of the leaves in our trees that was observable

Also, I can learn something new about the wordl that I would have overlooked if I had not been willing to begin again.

October 4 - Addendum.

There is another reason I had previously understood about the need to be willing to start with the beginning. Sometimes I encounter a newcomer in AA or some other place and to invite the beginner requires the ability to begin again with the beginning. This is true for many pursuits. Music, martial arts, sports and so on. There must always be a starting point and there must always be someone willing to meet a new person from the beginning. This is also true for sharing faith. All common journeys must being from a common starting point or shared life experiences which bind us together can never develop.

Meister Eckhart
Poet and Mystic

 

Some months ago I begin to toy with a study of 13th-14th century poet, mystic and theologian Meister Eckhart who was a priest and professor in the emerging country of Germany. I was first drawn to him because of the stated influence he had on the spiritual figure who had great influence on me, John O'Donohue. He is an enigma. At times his poetry is easy to grasp but other times his text can be dry to read and difficult to interpret. His principle themes, however are consistently recognizable. 

First, he urges us to simply our focus, attention and energy on our relationship with God. Everything that distracts from that objective is to be winnowed out and swept away like chaff. After a several month pause, I took up the challenge again and quickly identified a 31 item list of sayings from Eckhart that might be considered a basic primer of the great mystic's teachings. I decided to create a 31 one day reflection of the list with one saying to be unpacked each day. October is a 31 day month so the mission of 31 days with Eckhart was launch. 

Clearly it will be a test of discipline and will since October was already going to be a very busy month. Let's begin......

A Pause Midway Across the Stream

They call it the rectors curse. I thought I was immune to it. I had a strong spiritual life with a strong adherence to praying the hours, leading a 4th day group which prompted me to engage in Lectio Divina, regularly. I regularly attended Mass and served as minister. The biggest arrow in my quiver was being married to strongly spiritual woman who supports me daily. I was wrong. I was not immune.

Starting within days of my year as Weekend leader I began to experience mild but persistent pain in my low back and groin. Eventually a diagnosis of chronic prostatitis was made and that diagnosis was altered to chronic recurrent prostatitis. Yes, the gift that keeps giving. Ha Ha. Once the prostatitis was finally being brought under control, kidney stones began to become an issue. In time they also began to settle down as the medication helped keep them from growing.

I began to believe that I was getting a handle on things, one of the medications drained me of potassium and I began to feel like a 100 year old heart patient. No enough. The slightest effort caused me to gasp for air and to become lightheaded. Once I figured out what the issue I dropped the medication and things once again began to improve. Only then did I realize a blood pressure medication was giving me fits so I had to discontinue it as well. Sigh. Woe is me. But wait there is more.

Just when I thought I was in the clear, the vertigo set in. I was right back in a old kettle of soup coming back to a boil. Time for a whole new batch of medical tests which are still going on. Fortunately nothing seems to be showing up that is of concern. The vertigo is fading and optimism is growing again that I might be back to normal – whatever that might be for me.

Concurrent with the onset of groin issues last fall, I was slammed by surprisingly severe relapse of depression between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Fortunately it eased up without the need to intervene. The cause? It may be because I started to fall of my chosen path and spiritual direction.

I have been able to self correct some a couple of times but the real struggle is not physical or emotional but is, much to my surprise, spiritual. All of the good habits faded and I have called into persistent acedia. This is the real damage the curse has caused me. I have made some half hearted efforts to correct my direct but temptation has pulled me away.

There is truth to the curse. The prince of darkness sets his focus on the weekend leaders to distract them, to weaken their resolve and to make difficult their path and struggle. My lack of humility left me open to attack. I am reminded that the one thing the devil cannot over come is humility.

As I survey the landscape I find myself fortunate to have the weekend well planned with the help of many men and women. All that really remains is to find candidates. Well, maybe there is more. I need to find my way again but not through strength but through weakness so his grace will be enough for me.

I offer up my failure to resist temptation, my spiritual sloth, my reluctance to feed my spirit through prayer and study and my self reliance to you oh Lord. Let me empty myself as Eckhart taught us through your loving revelation to him. Let me yield my ego and let you guide and direct me. Let today be the first step back to you. You have given me great opportunities to evangelize for you and serve you. I wish to seize those opportunities and to do so in way that reflects on you and I am just a mirror of your image.

On this day where sit just a short distance from the graves of my father and grandparents, I look at the mountains and hills that impassively observed my growing up and my comings and goings. My hope will come from those mountains because they call to mind the glory of your creation and the great gifts you have given me. Psalm 121 comforts me.

Psalm 119 calls to me to turn myself back over to you and to ask for your forgiveness and blessing.

Psalm 119:145-152
XIX (Koph)
A meditation on God’s law

Loving God means keeping his commandments (1 John 5:3).

I call with all my heart; Lord, hear me, *
I will keep your statutes.
I call upon you, save me *
and I will do your will.

I rise before dawn and cry for help, *
I hope in your word.
My eyes watch through the night *
to ponder your promise.

In your love hear my voice, O Lord; *
give me life by your decrees.
Those who harm me unjustly draw near; *
they are far from your law.

But you, O Lord, are close, *
your commands are truth.
Long have I known that your will *
is established for ever.

Amen

John 16 12-15

“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.”

Jesus said this to the disciples in the last hours before his passion. What they could not bear to hear was how history was going to unfold in way all time is measured as having been before or after coming event. He could have told them all, rolled out every detail but they were already stunned with had been revealed. If the big picture was beyond comprehension image how the details would simply have washed away into nothingness.

From where we now stand there is much more He could tell us but we could not bear it. We know the big picture that had been foretold to the disciples. We live it, breathe it and hope in it. We know that if believe and act our days motivated by belief, we will never die but will live forever.

What we don’t know are the details, the bumps and bruises, the joys and sorrows, the beginning or the endings of our life or the lives of those we value, whose presence means somethings. In a world driven by the fall and free choice the future is not ours to know beyond the great promise of salvation. To have our future revealed in detail would not be something we can bear.

There is the promise of the Holy Spirit to present which is not just a consolation but a prize beyond measure. The Holy Spirit comes to us through His Grace to be with us each and every day. It is the Holy Spirit that allows us to not only bear but embrace what comes our way. We find purpose for sorrow, suffering or illness and a deeper recognition of joy, peace and serenity. The Holy Spirit brings us every blessing from God the Father and Christ Jesus our savior. This how we can bear what is to come as it is revealed.