Chapter 7, part 6 - May 31

The second degree of humility is that a person love not his own will  nor take pleasure in satisfying his desires, but model his actions on the saying of the Lord, "I have come not to do My own will,  but the will of Him who sent Me" (John 6:38).  It is written also, "Self-will has its punishment, but constraint wins a crown."

Again, what comes to mind is the constancy of God and the simplicity of the call. Jesus himself gives us role model to emulate. He gave up everything he might have seized had his submission to the Father had not been so complete. He knew what is future was and yet he did not flinch or turn away. He gave himself up the worst manner of death imaginable, then or now, perhaps ever.

I profess the desire to do his will and not my own. Simple? Yes. Easy? Oh no. Not at all. When it comes down to the final assessment, there may have been handful of times I paused to consider his will, when I stepped off the escalator of the day and to read a psalm or a few lines of scripture. When I ask the question on more expanded basis to consider the major theme of the day, did I seek to do his will?

I took time to walk and talk with friend who was disappointed to not have been given a job she sought. She was not distraught and expressed relief she would not have to take on the challenge of the job but no one likes to hear no and no one likes to have the ability to chose a course taken away. Still she was grateful to just be able to talk out her feelings and emotions and not been judges or challenged. What I had for lunch hour was not nearly as important as going for a walk. I believe it was his will that I be of service. I had another opportunity to comfort another friend who is buried so deep in depression I fear she will never completely pull out of it. Even though I have dwelt in the deep dark of hopelessly, there is very little I can offer than to just simply offer support. There is nothing I can say or do except just, for a brief moment, offer a hug and murmur words of acknowledgement and affection.

There were these two instances when I believe I embraced service for him. There may have been other times that I can't recall or even know that I had a positive impact.

The contradictions today of choosing work or a day off, the decisions of what tasks to take on and which ones to leave for another day, came to offer a third thing. Being there allowed me to offer what little I can to others in need of the charisms I have been gifted. There are times when I, without true meaning or belief, state the only reason I have not retired or taken another job is the continuing to work where I do and in the capacity I do allows me to favorably impact the life and growth of others. There might be truth to what I say that the sarcasm slides toward truth, in a good way and, surprisingly, in his service.